The Suede Sofa Blog

Ten years ago, Lara and I published Peace with Food.

That season was incredibly special. So many of you—especially those in this community—cheered us on, shared what we were doing, and supported the message in ways I’ll always be grateful for. 🎉

When we first released the book, the response was overwhelming. One of the most common things we heard was:
“I don’t have peace with food… but I want it.”

That desire—for peace, for freedom—has stayed with me.

And the more I’ve experienced that freedom personally, the more I’ve wanted others to know that it’s possible for them too. That desire hasn’t faded over the years—it’s deepened.

So as I’ve reflected on the past decade, I found myself wanting to share again. Not by writing a brand-new book, but by offering an updated version of what I’ve learned—right here.

Think of this as a “10 Years Later” reflection.

What’s changed.
What’s stayed the same.
What’s helped.
What might help you.

This is a longer read—but it’s intentionally broken into short sections so you can move through it at your own pace.

So if you’re still searching…
still trying…
or still somewhere in the middle of the journey—

This is for you. 🌱

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Why Peace with Food Matters

My journey with peace with food began in the summer of 1985 —and 40 years later, I can say it’s not just about eating “better” or losing weight.

It’s about freedom. Because without it, we often feel anything but free—frustrated, anxious, ashamed, or caught in a cycle of defeat.

But with peace with food—including peace with your body—you can experience freedom, even in the face of physical challenges like illness, injury, or simply living in a body that doesn’t match what you’d hoped for in ways beyond your control.

It doesn’t mean giving up on what you can improve—it means accepting what you can’t, while faithfully stewarding what you can.

And that’s key, because it’s all about stewardship—living out your Sacred Mission, the unique calling God designed, wired, and positioned you to fulfill, in the body you have and within the limited time you’ve been given on this earth to fulfill it.

When food and body image no longer take up the mental, emotional, or physical space they were never meant to, you can become free to fully live out the mission He’s entrusted to you. One of purpose and significance.

This isn’t about reaching your goal weight or having the “perfect” body. It’s about something way bigger than that.

It’s about faithfully stewarding the life you’ve been given so you can run the race set before you…

and finish well.

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Quick disclaimer:

I’m not a doctor, scientist, or medical expert, nutritionist or fitness guru—just a lifelong student sharing what’s helped me. I definitely don’t have it all figured out and am still learning and experimenting as I go—so consider this just a snapshot of where I am in the journey today.

Please do your own research, advocate for yourself, and work with a trusted practitioner who stays current on the latest science and wisdom.

Also—everyone’s journey is different and we all have a unique race to run. What works for one person may not work for another. My hope is that you’ll take the principles—the timeless truths—and apply them in a way that fits your unique season and circumstances.

The specific strategies I’ve used? They’re just that—strategies. Some may resonate with you, others may not. And what works for you today might need to be adjusted tomorrow. Take what serves you—use it as is, tweak or modify it—and feel free to leave the rest.

And above all… Follow Peace.

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P E A C E W I T H F O O D 1 0 1

Peace with Food was a snapshot of our journey a decade ago, built on simple, foundational truths—what we called the peace principles.

In the book, we shared how to use those principles to identify the right strategies for your current stage and season, crafting a custom-designed plan tailored to your wiring, circumstances, and goals.

These timeless truths can be applied to any eating or fitness strategy—because Peace with Food isn’t about a specific plan; it’s about knowing how to be appropriate in the moment so you can identify and personalize the strategies that work best for you.

Here are some of the principles I’ve come to rely on most:

The Power of Your Posse – Don’t go it alone. Community matters.

Know Yourself – Self-awareness of your personality, preferences, patterns, values, and current situation is key.

Get Wisdom – Educate yourself, be curious and ask questions, seek out mentorship, and experiment to learn what works for you.

Your Unique Path – Create a plan that fits you, not someone else’s formula.

The Power of Habits – Small habits, repeated consistently, create lasting change.

Temptation: Easier to Avoid than to Resist – Don’t rely on willpower; set up guardrails.

Follow Peace – Let peace be your compass, even when the path looks unconventional.

The early days of Peace with Food were about breaking free from food addictions—escaping the tormenting cycle of obsession and constant thoughts about food—and learning to live by the peace principles.

That freedom laid the foundation for the next level: learning how to walk it out when everything changed in midlife and my body no longer responded the same.

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P E A C E W I T H F O O D 2 0 1

10 Years Later: Here’s Where I’m At

At the start of the last decade (6 months after we published the book), menopause hit—and it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. What used to work… suddenly didn’t. The rules changed overnight, and I found myself in a cycle of trying hard and falling short, over and over. Talk about frustrating.

Eventually, I hit a point of desperation. I still believed in the core Peace with Food principles and was doing my best to live them out—but none of my strategies were working, and I felt completely stuck. That’s when I realized I needed a complete transformation.

So last year, I began a full health reset*—spiritual, mental, and physical. Since then, I’ve:

Regained hope

Lost the stubborn menopause weight that lingered for years—40 lbs since my reset

Returned to my healthy lab ranges from my pre-menopause years

Gained next level strategies, skills, and mindsets that completely reshaped how I approach health and wellness

Most importantly, I’m seeing transformation—spiritually, mentally, and physically—along with deeper wisdom, steadier peace, and renewed strength

This is my Peace with Food 201 version—born out of real-life struggles and shared in hopes it encourages or equips someone else on the path.

The following are some of the key shifts that helped me get here

*(Throughout this post, I’ll mention things like my current eating habits, supplementation, workouts, and my health reset. If you’re curious about the specifics, I share more in my Facebook posts on June 1 and June 11.)

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Get a Coach for Your Specific Need

Health, fitness, and medicine are vast fields—no one person has all the answers. I had to find the right people for the right needs: hormones, thyroid, strength training, nutrition, longevity, etc. In many of those areas, that meant finding coaches—experts who could guide me with targeted support and accountability.

As Fast Company put it,

“If coaches have one thing in common, it’s that they are ruthlessly results-oriented.”

If you’re not getting the results you want, it might be time to bring in someone who can help you bridge the gap—someone with a proven track record in solving the specific problem you’re facing.

(BTW: If you’re thinking of getting a coach—consider doing it sooner rather than later. I waited too long and only took action when I was desperate. I wish I’d done it earlier.)

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Mindset Renewal

I began my health reset with one ultimate goal: transformation.

Romans 12:2 tells us how:

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

If I truly wanted lasting change, I knew it had to start with how I think, renewing my thoughts with God’s truths.

My biggest mindset renewal was trading a perfectionist mindset for a Low-Hanging Fruit™ mindset.

For decades, perfectionism—the classic all-or-nothing mindset—was my downfall. I’d worked on it for years and, while I made small gains, I could never seem to gain real momentum or lasting change.

After countless cycles of trial and error (with way more error than I’d like to admit ), I kept hearing my mentors talk about the power of taking small steps paired with consistency. Their wisdom was solid—and the principle behind it came straight from Scripture. Luke 16:10 says, “Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much.”

The message was clear: if I couldn’t steward the small things well, how could I expect to handle the bigger things?

I knew I needed to build consistency—but the challenge was figuring out how to actually do it. I do best with clear, tangible frameworks, but since I couldn’t find one that fit, I created my own—simple, doable, and finally effective in helping me live out that principle.

I call it The Low-Hanging Fruit Framework™. It helped me finally stay faithful and consistent in the little things—building momentum not just in food and fitness, but in life. Small changes that, over time, compound into big results.

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Identify Your “ONE THING”

Ever feel overwhelmed because everything needs fixing—or like you don’t even know where to start? That “Never Enough” feeling used to overwhelm me. And yes… every time I think about that frustration, that song from The Greatest Showman starts playing in my head.

There were so many changes I needed to make—and so many ‘solutions’ being thrown at me as I searched for answers—that it became overwhelming. Total analysis paralysis.

Eventually, I had to stop the madness and ask myself the question highlighted in Gary Keller and Jay Papasan’s book The ONE Thing:

“What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

I used that question to create a simple focus framework that helped me pinpoint the ONE THING that would have the greatest impact on my goal. Once I found it, I gained clarity—and was off and running.

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My Power Duo

Combining these two frameworks has helped me get clear on where to start—and then take immediate action, whether the road ahead feels overwhelming or just uncertain.

These two simple questions can help you identify your next step:

Feeling confused or ambivalent about where to start? That’s your cue to find your focus—the most leveraged action.

Feeling overwhelmed—or like it’s just too hard? That’s your cue to make the first step smaller. Go for low-hanging fruit.

Here’s a simple example:

Let’s say life feels chaotic and out of control. Every area feels like a mess, and you’re completely overwhelmed. So… where do you begin?

Start by finding your most leveraged action—the one thing that would make the biggest difference and get the ball rolling.

You decide it’s cleaning your house.

But your house is really messy, and the thought of tackling it all feels paralyzing.

That’s your cue: make your first step smaller.

So instead of cleaning the whole house, you start by choosing a 5 minute task such as making your bed or clearing off the kitchen counter. Just one small, doable action.

And once you do? You’ve broken through inertia and get a little inspired—and as you keep taking action you start building the confidence that real change is possible.

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Continually Upgrading Eating Habits + Supplementation

One thing I’ve come to believe deeply: peace with food is a journey, not a destination. You don’t arrive all at once—you grow into it, like a baby gradually maturing into adulthood, experiencing deeper and more consistent levels of peace over time.

After years of making 1% changes in this area, I’m finally seeing the compounding effect.

In Peace with Food, you can see what my eating looked like at the time. But today?

My habits are completely different. I’m eating more whole foods, prioritizing protein, gut health, and fiber—while cutting back on the rest. And for that, I’m incredibly grateful… and hopeful for continued growth and progress. (That said, I still have a lot of room for improvement.)

If you’re still on the journey, take heart—you can experience the same transformation, one small step at a time.

Alongside nutrition, I’ve added some targeted supplements that support my unique needs in this season—especially for bone strength, muscle growth, brain health, energy, and long-term health.

Just aiming to get a little better every day.

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GLP-1* + Reverse Dieting + Fasting

Over a year ago, I found myself in a pit that felt deeper by the day. A decade of working against my hormones had finally caught up with me—excessive weight gain, labs no longer in the healthy range, insulin resistance, concerning test results, and a growing sense that I had somehow “lost” myself.

(Btw, insulin resistance is no joke.)

Up to that point, I had always held on to hope—even after years of spinning my wheels—but when I unexpectedly gained an additional 18 pounds in a short amount of time, suddenly I felt like I was in a pit I couldn’t get out of.

What made it even harder? I knew the risks. Years of research had made me well aware of the dangers of obesity and poor metabolic health—and my mom had recently passed from complications related to the latter. The potential comorbidities weren’t abstract anymore. They were personal and pressing.

I couldn’t ignore it any longer. It was time to act.

I set out to return to a healthy weight range and improve my labs—in a way that prioritized sustainability and healing from the inside out: improving insulin sensitivity, addressing prediabetes, restoring my metabolism, and preserving and building as much lean muscle mass as possible for long-term health and longevity.

After months of searching for a solution that aligned with my goals, I joined a coaching program that combined GLP-1s (an FDA-approved medication that must be prescribed and monitored by a medical provider – an example is Ozempic) with reverse dieting and fasting.

I began a low dose of GLP-1 to help address insulin resistance, and give myself a leg up after years of stalled progress. At the same time, I implemented reverse dieting—gradually increasing my daily calories to restore and support metabolic function—paired with strategic fasting.

Reverse dieting was a breakthrough.

All my life, I’d been conditioned by diet culture to believe that eating less was always better. My journey began back in the ’80s—an era of extreme (and often bizarre) trends: the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, and of course, SlimFast shakes for two meals a day and a “sensible dinner.”

For me, it was Weight Watchers or rigid calorie counting—1,200 a day, to be exact! Later came Atkins, Paleo, and Keto.

(Not saying any of these diet plans are bad—just sharing what I tried. Looking back, I was obviously implementing them wrong, consuming too few calories.)

Because weight loss had always felt so difficult, I was convinced my TDEE (total daily energy expenditure—the number of calories your body burns in a day) was only 1,200. Years of under-eating likely slowed my metabolism to that point. My coach assured me my TDEE was at least 1,800–2,000 cals. I was skeptical—and afraid to eat that much.

It took time to let go of the deeply ingrained scarcity mindset I’d built during nearly a decade of spinning my wheels. But nothing else had worked, so I thought, “What do I have to lose?” I chose to borrow his belief and trust his expertise.

To my surprise, he was right. Eating closer to my true TDEE not only helped revive my metabolism—it also broke the binge-restrict cycle I had lived in for decades.

My body had been underfed for so long, and eventually… it pushed back. It had been trying to tell me something all along.

I followed his guidance and gradually worked my way up to 2300 calories/day—without gaining weight. What?! Yep… no weight gain. It wasn’t until I hit 2400 that I started to see the scale move up.

These days, I typically eat 1,800–2,000 calories on non-fasting days—and a bit more on feasting days—to support my body composition goals: losing fat while building muscle for long-term strength and vitality. I haven’t yet reached my goal, but because protecting muscle is a top priority, I’m committed to the slow and steady path.

When a DEXA scan last summer revealed low bone mass, it lit a fire in me. I’m now on a mission to rebuild both muscle strength and bone density.

*GLP-1s are not for everyone, and their misuse can be harmful. As with any medication, there are risks. If you’re considering them, be sure to do your own research—exploring both the pros and cons, as well as their proper use—and consult a qualified healthcare provider to determine if they’re right for your specific needs and goals.

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Build & Preserve Muscle and Bone Density

To support my muscle and bone-building goals, I’ve made lifting heavy 3x/week and getting at least 120 grams of protein daily part of my non-negotiables.

As for the rest of my regular exercise…

Thanks to my dog, I get two built-in walks a day with a weighted vest. I also do 2–3 SIT (sprint interval training) sessions per week—three 30-second all-out bursts, each followed by 2–4 minutes of full recovery.

My go-to moves? Single-leg hops (right leg), single-leg hops (left leg), and pushups—one round per interval, and I’m done.

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Measure Body Composition, Not Just Weight

For years, the # on the scale was my main metric. But now, my focus has shifted to body composition—specifically, preserving lean muscle mass and being at a healthy level of body fat for strength, longevity, and overall well-being. To help with this, I’ll use a macro tracker to stay aligned with my goals.

As for tracking body composition, if you’re new to this, here are some common options:

A DEXA scan—considered (by some) the gold standard for measuring body fat, muscle mass, and bone density—available at some medical offices or wellness clinics.

An InBody scan or similar body composition analyzer—often available at gyms, wellness centers, and some functional and traditional medicine clinics.

Even a home scale that estimates body fat and muscle % (though less accurate) can help you monitor trends over time.

The point is to keep body composition in mind—because as Peter Drucker, the “Father of Modern Management,” said: “If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.”

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Optimize Hormones + Thyroid

I learned the hard way: when it’s you vs. your hormones, your hormones will win every time. So, in the spring of 2024, I began the process of optimizing mine through bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT).

While BHRT helped me begin optimizing my hormones, my thyroid still needed additional support. That summer, lab work once again confirmed an underactive thyroid.

But this time, I was determined to finally address it and find a real solution.

Even with proper nutrition, hypothyroidism typically isn’t resolved through diet alone—it often requires medical intervention. For me, that meant thyroid medication. I also support my thyroid naturally with 3 Brazil nuts a day (a great source of selenium). And a great crunchy snack.

Today, my thyroid labs are in a healthy range—and I finally feel like my metabolism is moving in the right direction.

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Fasting + Prayer =

I’ve fasted for decades as a spiritual practice—but when I learned the health benefits too? Game changer.

I’ve spent much of my life gaining and losing weight. In the past, even when I had dozens of pounds to lose, I could always get the scale to budge with effort.

But when menopause hit, everything changed. Suddenly, even losing three pounds felt like a major accomplishment—and sometimes, no matter what I did, there was zero progress. There was no margin for error.

When nothing else worked, strategic fasting—with guidance from my mentor—became the turning point in overcoming my menopause weight struggles.

But fasting didn’t just help with fat loss. Years ago, it began breaking my carb cravings and addictions—long before I understood its physical benefits.

These days, I fast strategically for both spiritual and physical reasons. I still enjoy carbs (in-bounds feasting is actually what helps keep me in the game and stay consistent, as well as prevent the infamous out-of-control spiral), but protein has become my go-to—and I genuinely don’t crave carbs like I used to. I’m convinced fasting is a big reason why.

Fasting alone offers powerful health benefits—but when paired with prayer? It unleashes a whole new level of power—spiritual, mental, and physical. (See Isaiah 58)

**Fasting—and many of the strategies I’ve shared—should only be considered after you’ve done your own research and then discussed it with a qualified healthcare provider to see if it is the right option for you.

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Get Help From God

While I spent hours researching, reading/skimming studies, and learning from experts, some of the most powerful breakthroughs came from seeking God and His wisdom.

At the root of my food addiction was deeper bondage—and only Jesus could break it.

Regardless of whether the bondage we face is spiritual, mental, or physical—unhealthy eating, gossip, greed, porn, pride, anxiety, or anything else—bondage is bondage.

A surrendered heart is what opens the door to experience His freedom. As John 8:36 says, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”

Yes, get wisdom. Yes, partner with professionals. Yes, get your POSSE.

Do your part. But never forget: true and lasting freedom starts with Jesus.

He alone is the bondage breaker.

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Threading It All Together

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Systems Make It Stick

If you’re feeling stuck, the problem may not be motivation or effort—it might be a faulty system, or no system at all.

As W. Edwards Deming said, “A bad system will beat a good person every time.”

Good systems reduce decision fatigue, protect your mental energy, and build in guardrails. They also protect you from unnecessary temptation. And they protect you from yourself!

Systems create momentum and ultimately they create wins. The right systems do the heavy lifting—so you don’t have to white-knuckle every decision.

Here are a handful that have helped me:

Get Your Posse – The Ultimate Autopilot – The people you surround yourself with shape your default behaviors. Like an inner tube drifting on a lazy summer lake, your POSSE gently nudges you—often without you realizing it.

Whatever direction they’re heading, you are too whether you realize it or not. So be intentional: find communities moving in the direction you want to go—and immerse yourself there.

But remember, your POSSE is built one relationship at a time. So who should be in yours? Think mentors, amigos, and mentees who not only share your goals but also your values and heart.

And within those circles, make room for the kind of inner-circle friends C.S. Lewis described as the “What! You too? I thought I was the only one!” kind—those rare connections who truly get your wiring, who are like Jonathan was to David—and David to Jonathan, and who remind you that you’re not alone. They’re priceless.

Exercise – Choose the time of day you can be most consistent—then commit and make it non-negotiable. Lifting isn’t my favorite (even though it’s the most important workout for me at age 57), so I don’t give my brain a vote—I just front-load it in the morning and get it done ASAP.

One and done, baby.

If you’re someone who prefers working out with others, make an appointment to exercise with a workout buddy to help keep you accountable.

Eating Habits: Stack the odds in your favor – Clear out tempting foods, stock your space with healthy options, and keep them where you can see and grab them easily. (I’ll even snack on veggies I don’t love—if they’re visible and prepped, like sitting out on the kitchen island ). Know your weak spots, then build boundaries to help you stay in-bounds. Do for yourself when you are strong what you can’t when you are weak.

Mindset Renewal – Have a go-to Scripture ready to meditate on (recite and reflect on) whenever you feel triggered or off-track—whether it’s negative thoughts, unnecessary snacking, or the urge to scroll during downtime. You can also pair a Bible verse with a recurring cue in your day.

For example, I pray a specific scripture every time I hear the train near my house—which happens multiple times a day. Meditating on God’s Word is what transforms us, so make truth easy to access and let His Word continually wash over your mind.

Wholeheartedly Seek God – Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.”

When we seek God with a sincere and surrendered heart, He promises we will find Him. We won’t do it perfectly—but when we stumble, we can seek His grace. And when we sin, being quick to repent is part of the process that leads to sanctification (God’s work of shaping us to be more like Christ).

This is how true transformation happens—deeply, from the inside out.

How to begin? If this is new for you (or you’re still trying to make it a habit), remember the principle of low-hanging fruit: start small and simple.

Just a few quiet minutes in His Word and prayer a day.

To help it stick, anchor it to something you already do—like enjoying your morning cup of Joe.

Sleep Routine – Parents of young kids are onto something: a simple, consistent bedtime routine works. Kids tidy up, take a bath, brush their teeth, and say their prayers—usually at the same time each night.

Turns out, grown-ups need wind-down cues too. I figured, why reinvent the wheel? So, my routine looks pretty similar. After years of struggling with sleep and trying to dial it in, I added a sleep tracker—and just gamifying it is helping me make small changes that are improving both my sleep score and overall rest.

Weekly Rest – Choose a day (or even half a day) to unplug from work and technology and intentionally connect with your loved ones and do what restores you. Systems aren’t just for productivity—they’re for rest too.

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If you’re on your own journey of peace with food…

Wherever you are on the journey—starting out or circling back—you’re not alone, and you’re never beyond help.

Freedom is possible. Just keep showing up. When you fall down, get back up. Failure isn’t the end—it’s actually part of the process.

In those moments of struggle, God can meet you right where you are. He offers wisdom for your next step and the power to bring real, lasting change—from the inside out.

Because true transformation isn’t just about changing habits—it’s about living your identity and becoming the person who you were designed to be.

P.S. If you’ve been on a similar journey, I’d love to hear what’s helped you most—or where you’re feeling stuck. We’re better when we learn from each other. Please feel free to reach out if you need encouragement or support.