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  • 🐊 Wrestling the Crocodile

    When I was in college, one of my good friends was from Australia.

    And people were fascinated by her accent. 🇦🇺

    This was during the era when Crocodile Dundee was a very big deal—the Australian bushman from the wildly popular movies who could seemingly survive anything, including wrestling crocodiles.

    So every once in a while, when people would ask my friend about Australia, she would casually tell them:

    “Yah, my dad is Crocodile Dundee.”

    And they believed her. 😂

    Apparently an Australian accent was all the supporting evidence they needed.

    But here is what has stuck with me all these years:

    Crocodile Dundee wrestling those crocodiles. 🐊

    That image is somehow etched in my brain when I think about our ongoing battle with sin.

    Because if I’m being real, some areas of sanctification have felt a lot more like wrestling a crocodile than checking something off a list or working on some behavior modification.

    🍽️ Letting food control me.
    🧠 Learning to take my thoughts captive.
    🗣️ Learning to control my mouth.
    🙋‍♀️ Pride.
    🤲 Selfishness.

    Just a few of my crocodiles. 🐊

    Areas where God has given me tremendous freedom—and yet places where I still have to remain awake and dependent upon Him.

    And that is one of the tensions of the Christian life that I think we need to understand.

    ✨ You really can walk in increasing freedom.

    Jesus changes people.

    Patterns that once controlled us do not have to control us forever.

    We can be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

    We can learn to walk by the Spirit.

    We can grow in self-control.

    We can experience increasing freedom from things that once seemed impossible to overcome.

    Sanctification is real.

    But freedom does not mean we reach a point where we never have to contend with temptation again.

    Crocodile Dundee didn’t wrestle one crocodile and announce,

    ✅ “Well, that’s taken care of.”

    Crocodiles were part of the territory.

    And temptation is part of ours.

    Not because Christ hasn’t made us new and set us free.

    Not because we’re doomed to remain enslaved.

    But because until our sanctification is complete, there is still flesh to contend with.

    📖 Scripture says:

    “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.”
    —1 John 2:16

    These three broad categories capture the sinful desires we all contend with. Let’s break them down.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────
    🔥 The Lust of the Flesh
    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    The desire to satisfy bodily appetites outside God’s good boundaries.

    Sexual sin lives here.

    But so do:

    🍰 Gluttony
    🍷 Drunkenness
    🛋️ Comfort at the expense of obedience
    🎁 Unchecked indulgence
    😴 Laziness

    Even perfectly legitimate appetites can become disordered when they start demanding to be served.

    The issue isn’t simply wanting something good; it’s how that desire begins to govern us.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────
    👀 The Lust of the Eyes
    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    I see it. I want it.

    💵 Money
    🏠 Possessions
    ✨ Someone else’s lifestyle
    👤 Someone else’s body
    🚪 Someone else’s opportunities
    🛍️ The next purchase
    📈 The persistent belief that just a little more will finally be enough

    ────────── ✦ ──────────
    👑 The Pride of Life
    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🏆 Recognition
    📈 Status
    👑 Power
    ✨ Being impressive
    ☝️ Being right
    👏 Being admired
    ⭐ Being important
    📣 Having influence
    🎯 Getting my way

    Different people have different crocodiles. 🐊

    And one of the most dangerous things we can do is experience genuine freedom in an area and then mistake that freedom for invincibility.

    The 17th-century Puritan pastor John Owen famously wrote:

    “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

    That is strong language.

    But it comes straight out of the biblical picture of mortification—putting sinful patterns to death rather than making room for them.

    And Scripture is equally clear about how we do that:

    “…if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.”
    —Romans 8:13

    Notice those words:

    🕊️ By the Spirit.

    This isn’t white-knuckling Christianity.

    It isn’t obsessing over ourselves.

    And it certainly isn’t physically harming ourselves.

    It is actively cooperating with the Spirit of God by saying “no” to our flesh as He forms Christ in us.

    Galatians says:

    “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
    —Galatians 5:16

    That means two things can be true at once:

    ✅ In Christ, sin is no longer my master.

    And:

    ⚠️ I am still learning to walk in that freedom.

    Those are not contradictions.

    Freedom doesn’t mean temptation disappears or that I obey perfectly. It means I belong to Christ, and by His Spirit, I can resist sin and grow in obedience.

    Maybe you’re beginning to resist a pattern that has controlled you for years.

    Maybe you’ve experienced tremendous freedom—but still recognize situations that make you vulnerable.

    Whether the struggle is fresh or the growth is well established, we remain dependent on Him.

    We don’t have to be terrified of the crocodile.

    But we probably shouldn’t let it become a house pet either. 😂🐊

    “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”
    —1 Corinthians 10:12

    🧭 Where are you most easily tempted?

    Where are you vulnerable?

    What tends to weaken your defenses?

    And where have you experienced enough freedom that you’ve stopped being watchful?

    Freedom and vigilance belong together.

    We walk with Christ.
    We celebrate real transformation.
    And when temptation shows up again, we don’t act shocked.

    We know the territory.

    We know Who is with us.

    And by the Spirit, we keep wrestling. 🐊🕊️

  • 💡 Secondhand Knowledge vs. Firsthand Knowing

    In my twenties, I heard a story about Albert Einstein and his chauffeur.

    With no Google back then, fact-checking a story like that wasn’t nearly as easy as it is today.

    I’ve since learned it’s probably folklore, but it’s a fun story nonetheless. 😂

    As the story goes, Einstein traveled around giving lectures, and his chauffeur had heard the same presentation so many times that one day he told Einstein:

    “I think I could give that lecture myself!”

    So they decided to switch places.

    The chauffeur delivered Einstein’s lecture flawlessly, with Einstein sitting in the back pretending to be the chauffeur.

    Everything went beautifully until someone asked a difficult question the chauffeur couldn’t answer.

    Without missing a beat, he replied:

    “That question is so elementary, I’ll let my chauffeur answer it!” 😂

    It’s a funny illustration of the difference between repeating information and actually understanding it.

    The chauffeur knew the lecture. Einstein knew the subject.

    And I think there are some powerful spiritual applications here.

    ─── ✦ ───

    🔹 1. Knowing ABOUT God isn’t the same as KNOWING God.

    There’s an old saying: “God has no grandchildren. Only children.”

    We can grow up around Christianity, know the language, and repeat what our parents or pastors believe without having a personal relationship with Christ.

    Jesus said in John 17:3 that eternal life is knowing the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He sent.

    Information is not intimacy.

    The faith of our parents, pastors, or friends can help introduce us to Christ. But their relationship with Him cannot take the place of our own.

    ─── ✦ ───

    🔹 2. Knowing Scripture isn’t the same as being FORMED by Scripture.

    We can memorize hundreds of verses, study Greek and Hebrew, earn a theology degree, and even teach others.

    Those pursuits matter. But are those truths shaping how we live?

    This also helps us distinguish honest struggle from hypocrisy. Struggling, giving in to temptation, repenting, and continuing to pursue obedience is different from excusing or concealing disobedience.

    The question isn’t whether we obey perfectly, but whether our hearts are yielded to God—willing to receive correction, turn from sin, and keep walking in obedience.

    Are we being formed by the truth we know?

    That’s sanctification—the ongoing work of God in our lives, making us more like Christ as we respond to His Word and the work of the Holy Spirit.

    ─── ✦ ───

    🔹 3. Repeating someone else’s convictions isn’t the same as OWNING them.

    Just like the chauffeur in the Einstein story, we can become very good at repeating what someone else has taught us without truly understanding it for ourselves.

    Teachers and mentors are valuable. But have we examined what we’ve been taught? Do we understand why we believe what we believe?

    The Bereans received teaching eagerly and examined the Scriptures to see whether it was true (Acts 17:11).

    Receiving others’ wisdom and examining it for ourselves belong together.

    Borrowed convictions aren’t necessarily settled convictions.

    ─── ✦ ───

    💎 HERE’S MY TAKEAWAY:

    The chauffeur could repeat Einstein’s words, but he couldn’t borrow Einstein’s understanding.

    We can do something similar in our spiritual lives:

    1️⃣ Repeat the language of faith without knowing Christ personally.
    2️⃣ Accumulate biblical knowledge while resisting what it asks of us.
    3️⃣ Repeat someone else’s convictions without examining them ourselves.

    So it’s worth asking ourselves:

    • Do I know Him?
    • Am I responding to His Word?
    • Have I examined what I believe?
    • Am I becoming more like Christ?

    Because the goal isn’t merely to become more articulate about truth.

    It’s to personally know the Subject—Jesus Christ—and to be increasingly formed into His likeness.

    ─── ✦ ───

    🐊 Coming next: Wrestling the Crocodile.

    What happens when we know the truth, believe it, and still find obedience a struggle?

    Let’s talk about the ongoing work of sanctification—growing into Christ’s likeness.

  • 🌱 TAKING ROOT: When Truth Moves from Your Head to Your Heart

    First, a little disclaimer. 😊

    I’d say I’m a person of pretty average intelligence, and I’ve always had to work at understanding things. My brain likes concrete pictures—illustrations and simple ways to make complicated concepts understandable. That’s one reason I’m drawn to tools, frameworks, and metaphors.

    Which brings me to TAKING ROOT. 🌱

    It’s a picture that helps me understand how a biblical truth I already know takes root and bears fruit in my life.

    I share it in case it helps you too.

    🌰 HERE’S THE PICTURE.

    Imagine holding a handful of seeds. You can collect them, examine them, and learn all about them.

    But holding seeds isn’t the same as seeing them take root and bear fruit.

    That’s how I picture the difference between knowing biblical truth and being shaped by it.

    🧠 HEAD: KNOWING GOD’S WORD • Seeds in our hands

    We can:

    🔹 Read and study Scripture.
    🔹 Memorize verses.
    🔹 Explain passages.
    🔹 Study Greek and Hebrew.
    🔹 Teach others.

    These things matter. But we can do them while resisting what those same truths ask of us.

    Holding the seeds is valuable. But they’re meant to be planted.

    ❤️ HEART: RECEIVING AND RESPONDING • Seeds in the ground

    James 1:21–22 calls us to humbly receive the Word and do what it says. In this picture, that’s planting the seeds—allowing truth to shape how we live.

    Knowing and responding belong together. So as I study, pray, wrestle, and test what I understand, I also ask:

    👐 Surrender: Am I willing to let God’s Word govern my life?
    👂 Humility: Am I teachable? Can I receive correction?
    ↩️ Repentance: Will I turn from what His Word exposes?
    👣 Obedience: Will I act on what He says—even when it costs me something?

    I don’t have to understand everything to take the next faithful step. My understanding can deepen as I obey.

    📖 THE HOLY SPIRIT DOES THE TRANSFORMING WORK

    We receive the Word and put it into practice, but God gives the growth.

    The Holy Spirit works through God’s Word to:

    ➡️ Illuminate: Open our eyes to understand truth more deeply—sometimes through a light bulb moment, often gradually.
    ➡️ Transform: Shape us more and more into Christ’s likeness.
    ➡️ Produce fruit: Bring lasting, Christlike change to our character and the way we live.

    He may also use prayer, people, conversations, correction, and circumstances in that work.

    🍎 THE FRUIT: LIVING WHAT I KNOW

    As truth takes root, it bears fruit in my character, choices, and treatment of others.

    My desire is for what I believe to be expressed in the way I live. And there’s always room to keep growing.

    So my prayer is:

    Lord, help me receive Your Word with humility, believe what is true, and walk in it. Let it take root deeply and bear fruit in my life.

    I don’t want merely to know about God.

    I want to know Him—and be formed by what I know.

    Coming next: a story attributed to Einstein about his chauffeur—and the difference between knowing the lecture and knowing the subject. 😂

  • 🎨 DON’T LUMP IT! 

    ➡️ Separate the issues. See the whole picture. ⬅️

    I once came across a quote that said, “We’re a mass of contradictions.”

    And maybe that’s true. But lately, I’ve been wondering if this popular phrase might be more accurate: 

    “Two things can be true at the same time.”

    I’m realizing that sometimes what looks like a contradiction isn’t a contradiction at all. It’s simply two different realities existing side by side.

    We are beautifully complex people living in a world that is both beautiful and broken.

    And yet, we often collapse categories—we lump different realities together as though they must all mean the same thing.

    In everyday language, we lump it all together. 🤔

    We want to label the whole thing good or bad. Right or wrong. This or that. But sometimes those labels don’t capture the whole picture.

    I’d been turning this principle over in my mind, trying to find a visual that would bring it into focus.

    Then yesterday, while talking with my daughter, my eyes landed on this colorful organizer, and I immediately thought:

    💡 That’s it. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to picture.

    Each compartment holds something different. They’re all part of the same container, but what’s in one compartment doesn’t cancel what’s in another.

    And that’s the point. What looks like a contradiction may simply be different realities existing side by side.

    And let’s be clear: Recognizing complexity doesn’t mean truth is relative, that right and wrong don’t exist, or that every perspective is equally accurate.

    Complexity doesn’t cancel truth. It calls for careful discernment.

    We’re separating the compartments to better understand what’s actually true—not to explain truth away.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🔹 EXAMPLE 1: OUR INTERNAL WORLD

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    At any given moment, you might be experiencing:

    → Gratitude for the good in your life—and grief over what has or hasn’t happened.

    → Contentment with your present life—and longing for something more.

    → Joy in your relationships—and disappointment in certain relationships.

    → Confidence in God’s faithfulness—and questions about His timing and His ways.

    Sometimes we think we must resolve one feeling before we’re allowed to experience another.

    But we don’t.

    You don’t have to empty one compartment to make room for what’s in another.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🔹 EXAMPLE 2: RELATIONSHIPS

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    Imagine someone you love says something hurtful.

    We can be quick to collapse everything into one conclusion:

    They hurt me.
    They’re inconsiderate.
    They don’t care about me.

    But let’s separate the compartments:

    → What they said may genuinely have been hurtful.

    → They may not have intended to hurt you.

    → They may have a legitimate concern, even if they expressed it poorly.

    → You may still need to address what happened.

    → You can recognize their good qualities without excusing their behavior.

    Separating the issues allows us to respond to what actually happened without making sweeping conclusions about the person.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🔹 EXAMPLE 3: SEASONS OF LIFE

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    Have you ever looked back on a season of your life and wondered, Was that a good season or a bad one? Was it difficult or beautiful?

    We often want to give an entire season one label.

    But let’s separate the compartments:

    → It may have been incredibly painful.

    → You may have experienced some beautiful moments.

    → You may have experienced tremendous personal growth.

    → Some relationships may have ended.

    → Other relationships may have deepened.

    → You may have experienced significant losses.

    → You may have discovered blessings you wouldn’t trade.

    It doesn’t have to be either difficult or beautiful. It may have been both.

    We don’t have to minimize the pain to appreciate the good. And we don’t have to dismiss the good to acknowledge the pain.

    One reality doesn’t cancel the other.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🔹 THE PRACTICE: SEPARATE THE COMPARTMENTS

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    When something feels confusing, contradictory, or emotionally tangled, try these three steps:

    1️⃣ SEPARATE: What are the different realities here?

    Instead of lumping everything together, identify the different facts, feelings, perspectives, and issues.

    2️⃣ EXAMINE: What do I know is true, and what am I assuming?

    Not everything we think or feel is necessarily an accurate interpretation of reality.

    For example, feeling rejected is a real experience. But concluding that someone intentionally rejected you is an interpretation that may need examination.

    3️⃣ PRIORITIZE: What’s the main issue that needs my attention?

    Recognize the other realities without losing sight of what matters most.

    Once you’ve separated the issues, consider their weight. They don’t all carry equal significance. What is the main issue, and what needs your attention first?

    • Weight: How serious or significant is each issue?
    • Priority: Which issue needs your attention first?

    The most serious issue may also be the first priority, but sometimes an immediate decision needs attention before a larger concern can be fully addressed.

    Just because something is part of the picture doesn’t mean it deserves equal attention. We can acknowledge all the different realities while keeping the main issue in focus.

    And of course, some situations are more complex than others. Not every situation requires 40 compartments. Sometimes there are two. Sometimes there are ten.

    The goal is to recognize what’s actually part of the picture instead of collapsing everything into one oversimplified conclusion.

    Perhaps maturity involves learning to recognize, hold, and steward multiple realities without forcing them into one simplistic conclusion.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🔹 WHERE CAN YOU USE THIS FRAMEWORK?

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    Just about anywhere you’re tempted to reduce something complex to one simple conclusion.

    → Relationships: Separating someone’s behavior from their character or intentions.

    → Decision-making: Recognizing both the benefits and costs of an opportunity.

    → Workplace: Recognizing someone’s strengths while acknowledging areas where their performance needs improvement.

    → Emotions: Allowing gratitude and grief, joy and sadness, or confidence and uncertainty to coexist.

    → Conflict: Looking at each person’s words and actions separately to understand what each needs to take responsibility for.

    → Personal growth: Recognizing progress while acknowledging areas that still need attention.

    → Faith: Holding confidence in God’s character alongside unanswered questions.

    → Life experiences: Recognizing both the beauty and the difficulty of a particular season.

    Different compartments. Same life. One reality doesn’t cancel another.

    Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is stop trying to make everything fit into one compartment—and step back to see the whole picture more clearly. 🎨

  • 💎 YOUR VALUE IS A “10.” NOW WHAT?

    Have you ever wondered why you are here on planet Earth? 🌎

    In my last post, I shared about the two $10 bills I held up for students: one crisp, one crumpled. Both worth exactly $10.

    Then I’d ask another question:

    “Someone buries one bill in the ground. Someone else spends the other. Which bill did what money was designed to do?”

    We’d imagine where that second bill might go as it passed from person to person—maybe even ending up on the other side of the world. 

    Think of the adventures one little $10 bill could have! 😊

    If it changes hands 30 times in $10 purchases, it takes part in $300 worth of transactions.

    The buried bill? Zero transactions. 

    But still worth $10.

    Both had the same value. But one was being used for its intended purpose—meeting needs and enriching lives.

    We, too, were created for a purpose.

    Now we get to put what we’ve been given to work—loving people, meeting needs, solving problems, and enriching the lives of others.

    While I didn’t share this part in those classrooms, the Bible places our purpose within a much bigger story: God’s work of redemption through Jesus Christ.

    As followers of Christ, we get to know Him, make Him known, and live out His love in the assignments He’s entrusted to us.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    ✨ OUR TWO LEVELS OF PURPOSE ✨

    1️⃣ LEVEL ONE · 🔎 ZOOM OUT
    Our shared purpose—to glorify God.

    2️⃣ LEVEL TWO · 🔍 ZOOM IN
    Our personal calling and assignments—the ways we live that purpose in the life and work He’s entrusted to us.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    1️⃣ SHARED PURPOSE

    ➡️ Glorify God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

    We glorify God by:

    → Knowing Him.
    → Making Him known.
    → Bearing good fruit in our assignments.

    That purpose stays constant. Wherever we are, whatever our circumstances, we can glorify God right here, right now.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    2️⃣ PERSONAL CALLING & ASSIGNMENTS

    ➡️ Faithfully carry out our part in God’s bigger purpose.

    Ephesians 2:10 tells us we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works He prepared for us.

    “But what if I don’t know my calling?”

    Start with what’s right in front of you:

    → Your family.
    → Your work.
    → Your relationships.
    → The people you can help.

    Care for them. Do your work well. Steward what you have.

    Often, our part in God’s bigger purpose becomes clearer as we faithfully steward what He’s already entrusted to us. You don’t need the whole picture to take the next faithful step.

    Maybe you carry a big dream you believe God has stirred in your heart. Plant seeds for it today—but also live fully in the present. Today is what you have to steward. This is where your life is happening, and where God has given you an assignment to embrace.

    Trust God with what’s ahead while being faithful with what’s here. 🌱

    📍 Start where you are. 

    None of us has everything mastered. We may be further along in some areas than others—and we all have room to grow.

    Living out our purpose includes the areas below, but we don’t have to grow in all of them at once or do them perfectly.

    📍 Start with one thing. 

    Look for the Low-Hanging Fruit—a small change you can make today that would make a meaningful difference in:

    → Loving the people in your life well.
    → Pursuing excellence in your craft—the work you do.
    → Growing in character and keeping your commitments.
    → Caring for your body and making room for rest.
    → Managing your time, money, and resources wisely.

    One faithful step is a meaningful beginning.

    Like those two $10 bills, our worth is already established.

    The question is: how will we use what we’ve been given to do what we were designed to do? 🌱

  • 💎 Designed to Be a “10” 💎

    Years ago, after I stopped teaching, I realized how much I missed working with students. So I created an interactive talk called “Designed to Be a 10” and started taking it into classrooms.

    I spent a lot of time with junior high students—and discovered how much I loved working with that age group. 😊

    The talk was about discovering your purpose. Before we got to that, though, I wanted to talk about value.

    💵 I’d hold up two $10 bills. One was fresh and crisp. The other was as worn and crumpled as I could find. If I found one that was torn or written on, I considered that a bonus. 😉

    I’d make sure they noticed the contrast: one looked practically perfect; the other looked like it had been through a lot.

    “Which one is worth more?”

    The students would give me this look like,

    🤔 This seems obvious…is there a trick?

    So I’d ask, “If you walked across the street to G&W, which one would buy you more?”

    Immediately they knew the answer, “Neither. They’re both worth $10.”

    E X A C T L Y.

    And I’d tell them: maybe one bill is fresh off the printing press—clean, crisp, without a single crease. Maybe you find the other one wadded up in a dumpster—dirty, marked up, even torn.

    They’ve been through very different things. But they’re still worth exactly the same.

    Sometimes our lives can feel like that second bill. Things have happened to us. We’ve been treated like we didn’t matter. We’ve made choices we wish we could undo.

    And here’s what I want to tell you now, in words I didn’t use in those classrooms:

    As an image bearer of God, you have inherent worth—a value that isn’t diminished by what you’ve done, what’s happened to you, or what others have done to you.

    Those things matter. They can leave real wounds and real consequences. But they don’t diminish your worth.

    👉 Your value is still a 10.

    And so is the value of the person across from you—the one you love easily, the one you struggle to understand, even the one you strongly disagree with.

    I think we all need that reminder sometimes. At least I know I do: to see ourselves and each other as people whose worth as human beings is always a 10, never less.

    I loved watching that idea begin to sink in with the students. You could feel the room change a little as they realized,

    💡 “Wait. I really am a 10.”

    And then I’d hold up those two bills again and ask them another question. But I’ll save that one for the next post. 😊

  • 🧩 THE 3-TIER FOCUS FINDER™

    Where are you actually stuck?

    Have you ever worked hard to solve a problem—only to realize you’re spinning on a hamster wheel, or worse, moving backward?

    😣 You try harder.
    🥵 Get more disciplined.
    🔄 Try another strategy.

    But sometimes, we need to go farther upstream.

    For nearly eight years after entering menopause, I struggled to turn my health around.

    My weight climbed. My energy tanked. My labs became concerning, and a DEXA scan revealed low bone mass.

    I worked on my eating, exercise, and consistency.
    I worked on my thinking.
    I prayed and sought God.

    Those things mattered. But I hadn’t adequately investigated what was happening in my body—including the hormonal changes of menopause.

    Once I began understanding and addressing those physical factors, things began to change.

    Think about standing in your kitchen with a mixer that won’t work.

    🔌 You plug it into another outlet.

    Still nothing.

    🔌 You try another.

    After a few outlets, you go check the breaker switch.

    It’s tripped. You reset it.

    ⚡ BAM 

    The mixer works.

    You went upstream, found the bottleneck, and addressed it.

    That’s the idea behind:

    ────────── ✦ ──────────
    🧩 The 3-Tier Focus Finder™
    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    A tool to help you identify where you’re stuck—and focus your effort on what needs attention.

    I’m using a Peace with Food example here, but these same questions can help us examine relationships, money, work, and other areas of life.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    ⚡ TIER 1 — THE BREAKER SWITCHES

    🙏 Spirit
    🧠 Mind and Emotions
    💪 Body

    These are foundational areas that can significantly affect our capacity.

    This is going all the way upstream.

    Is something spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical limiting my ability to move forward?

    When one of these breaker switches is tripped or overloaded, everything downstream may become harder or impossible to change.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    🧵 TIER 2 — COMMON THREADS

    Sleep • Eating • Movement • Stress Management • Hydration

    These are the common threads—the best practices that experts generally agree on: ordinary habits and rhythms that support progress.

    In Peace with Food, that includes the patterns above. In relationships, it might include listening and communicating clearly. In money, it might include tracking spending and planning ahead.

    Sometimes we need to establish a habit, adjust a routine, simplify the plan, or practice greater consistency.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    ✨ TIER 3 — OPTIMIZATION

    Supplements • Hacks • Advanced strategies • Specialized protocols • Fine-tuning

    Optimizers are just that: tools to help us fine-tune what’s already working.

    They’re most useful when your Tier 1 breaker switches are on and the habits from your Tier 2 common threads are in place.

    ────────── ✦ ──────────

    For me, going upstream meant flipping my PHYSICAL Tier 1 breaker switch—understanding how hormonal changes were affecting my body and addressing what my effort alone couldn’t.

    So how about you? Where have you been working hard but struggling to gain traction?

    Your next step depends on where you’re stuck.

    ⚡ Check the breaker switches.
    🧵 Put the common threads into practice—the best practices for the area you’re working on.
    ✨ Fine-tune what’s working.

    Before you try harder or add another strategy, ask:

    Where is the bottleneck—and what actually needs attention?

    That’s the purpose of the 3-Tier Focus Finder™: to help you direct your effort wisely and take the next faithful step.

  • Direct Hit 🎯🤮

    One year when my girls were in grade school, their rec soccer team called themselves the Pink Panthers, inspired by the junior-college Panthers who coached them. ⚽️

    On one of the game days, I was standing on the sidelines talking to a friend when one of my girls came running up to me like she wanted to tell me something.

    Just as she got right in front of me—she projectile vomited.

    Direct hit. 🎯🤮

    She hadn’t come over to throw up on me. But there I was, receiving what her little body couldn’t hold anymore.

    I thought about that moment again recently at the car wash. 🚗

    Two young men working there were friendly and professional as they helped me. They told me the driver beside me had just unloaded on them over a problem with the car wash—something they had no control over. He even told them he was having a bad day.

    Yep. Direct hit. 🎯🤮

    Have you ever been blindsided by someone’s reaction? A sharp comment, an outburst, or a sudden coldness that seemed to come from nowhere?

    Sometimes we’re simply the person standing in front of someone when what they’ve been carrying comes out.

    Fear can sound like anger. Hurt can come out as criticism. A hard day can spill onto whoever happens to be nearby.

    What landed on me may not have started with me.

    But we can’t assume every direct hit is entirely about the other person. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Sometimes something we said or did contributed to the exchange, and we need to own our part.

    When it didn’t start with us, we don’t have to take it on as a verdict about ourselves. We can leave room for compassion without pretending the behavior was okay.

    And whether we contributed to the moment or were simply on the receiving end, we can respond with wisdom. Sometimes that means addressing what happened, especially if it becomes a pattern. Sometimes it means letting a passing moment pass and just giving someone grace.

    Some days, we’re the one who gets the direct hit. Other days, we’re the one who spills.

    When it’s us, that moment can be a check engine light. 🚨 We can take responsibility for what came out and ask, “What’s going on in me that needs attention?”

    That’s a question worth bringing to God—and, when we need it, to people who can help us sort through it. Maybe we were having a hard day and need to make things right. Or maybe the same reaction keeps surfacing, and there’s hurt, fear, or something else underneath that needs attention. We can take responsibility for what came out, be honest about what’s driving it, and do the work needed to grow healthier.

  • 🌿 My Freedom Journey

    A little note before I share…

    This post is a little longer than what I’ve been sharing lately because it documents a journey more than four decades in the making.

    But this story is about more than food. It is about sanctification—the lifelong transformation through which God patiently forms us, renews our minds, and teaches us to walk more fully in the freedom Christ has already given us.

    I came to know and love Jesus as a little girl. And yet, for decades, I continued to struggle deeply in this area of my life.

    Especially in college, I remember leaving church week after week inspired and determined to change, only to find myself caught in the same struggle again.

    I didn’t yet understand sanctification as a process. I had no framework for understanding why a struggle could persist for so long in the life of someone who genuinely loved God and wanted to obey Him. So as the years became decades, I often wondered, What is wrong with me?

    That is one reason I’m sharing my story.

    I love the words of Psalm 107:2 (NIV):

    “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.”

    I share mine because God is still a God of redemption—and His redeeming work is not reserved for people with tidy stories or quick transformations.

    If you’ve ever wondered why your own journey is taking so long, I hope mine reminds you that a long process is not evidence that God has abandoned His work in you.

    And a long process does not mean:

    🚫 “I am beyond repair.”
    “I am beyond hope.”
    “I am used up.”

    God is still at work in you. Your story isn’t finished, so hold on to hope. 😊

    ────── ✦ ──────
        ✨ THE LONG ROAD ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    😮‍💨 Whew.

    I’ve been pursuing freedom in my relationship with food for a little bit. 😅

    When I first began—and even decades later—I thought freedom was a destination.

    Something you arrived at.

    ✅ An achievement you finally conquered, checked off the list, and moved on from.

    But here I am more than 40 years later, and one of the most important things I’ve learned is this:

    👣 Freedom isn’t just a destination. It’s a lifelong journey.

    Christ truly sets us free—and throughout our lives, we learn to walk in that freedom more fully and experience its fruit in increasing measure.

    Like so much of life in Christ, freedom carries an “already and a not yet”: Christ has set us free, and by His grace, we are learning to increasingly walk in that freedom—to work out in our lives what Christ has already accomplished for us and what God continues to work within us.

    —Philippians 2:12–13

    Understanding that changes how we interpret the journey.

    Sometimes what makes a journey so hard is expecting it to be something it isn’t.

    When we don’t understand what growth and freedom can actually look like, we can interpret the difficulty of the road as evidence that something has gone terribly wrong.

    Sometimes it helps to see the process—not just the outcome.

    Here are some of the biggest mile markers from my own journey—not as a formula or a timeline you have to repeat, but as a picture of what freedom and formation—being shaped more and more into the image of Christ—can look like over time.

    Your struggle may look different from mine, but perhaps you’ll recognize some familiar mile markers—and see more clearly the work God is doing in your own life.

    ────── ✦ ──────
              ✨ EARLY ’70s ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    Before my struggle with food began, I had already received the greatest gift possible: Jesus Christ—and in Him, a new identity and a foundation of faith.

    I grew up with a mom and dad who loved Christ and sincerely sought to follow and serve Him. They didn’t have to be perfect for God to use their example powerfully in my life. I’m deeply grateful for the foundation they gave me.

    Through their influence, I came to know Jesus as a little girl and received God’s gift of grace.

    I didn’t understand everything then, but something eternal had happened.

    Before I ever learned how to walk in freedom, I belonged to Him.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Identity

    Freedom in Christ doesn’t begin with our performance.

    It begins with our identity in Christ.

    ────── ✦ ──────
      ✨ SUMMER OF 1985 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    After gaining more than 15 pounds during my sophomore year of high school, I set out to lose it that summer and joined Weight Watchers.

    🎬 And with that, I officially entered the world of dieting. 😅

    I wasn’t thinking about my relationship with food or asking what might be happening underneath it. I just wanted to lose the weight and feel at home in my body again.

    In my mind, the problem was straightforward:

    Follow the plan.
    Lose the weight.
    Check the box.
    Move on.

    I had no idea then that the struggle went deeper—or that losing weight and finding freedom would turn out to be two very different things.

    I approached that first plan with real hope.

    I would later learn that methods are needed—but they have to address the problem at the level where it actually lives.

    My struggle wasn’t only about what I ate or how much I ate. It reached into my thoughts, my beliefs, and my relationship with food.

    I didn’t understand that yet, so for years my search followed a familiar pattern:

    📋 Find a new plan.
    ✨ Feel hopeful.
    💪 Try harder.
    😫 Fall short.
    😔 Feel discouraged.
    🔁 Begin again.

    I wasn’t lacking desire. I desperately wanted to change.

    I simply didn’t yet understand that what I needed would go much deeper than another eating plan.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: The Search

    Sometimes the search for freedom begins long before we understand what freedom will actually require.

    ────── ✦ ──────
                    ✨ 1987 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    By my senior year of high school, my struggle with food had intensified.

    One memory from that year is still vivid.

    There was a pan of bars sitting in our kitchen, and I felt tormented by them.

    I didn’t want to eat them, but I remember this thought running through my mind:

    “You will never be free.”

    That was the lie.

    ⛓️Bondage can make a lie sound like a settled verdict. It can make a struggle that has lasted a long time feel like it will last forever.

    But the lie doesn’t get the final word.

    ────── ✦ ──────
                    ✨ 1988 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    During my first semester of college at Oral Roberts University, I was sitting in chapel listening to a message when one sentence seemed to rise above everything else:

    “You can be free.”

    That sentence grabbed hold of me.

    Nothing changed overnight.

    But hope entered.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Hope

    Not every mile marker is a change in behavior.

    Truth challenges the lie—and hope enters.

    ────── ✦ ──────
                    ✨ 1993 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    For years, I kept cycling through the same pattern:

    1️⃣ Try harder.
    2️⃣ Fall short.
    3️⃣ Feel defeated.
    🔁 Try again.

    Then, in 1993, desperate for change, I opened my Bible to the concordance in the back and began looking up every reference I could find about freedom. (LOL—the pre-internet way of searching Scripture. 😅)

    I wrote them down.

    Personalized them.

    For example, Romans 6:18 (NIV) describes a change in whom we serve:

    “You have been set free from sin and have become slaves of righteousness.”

    I personalized that truth:

    “I have been set free from sin and have become a slave of righteousness.”

    Then I began meditating on those Scriptures—returning to them again and again and asking God to help me truly believe what He had said.

    After a couple of weeks, something shifted.

    Truth moved from my head to my heart.

    I finally understood—and believed at a heart level—that in Christ, I had already been set free.

    Now I had to learn how to walk in what was already true.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Truth Received

    This was one of the most defining mile markers of my life.

    My outward patterns didn’t instantly change, and the struggle wasn’t over. But something had changed at the core: I knew in my heart that, in Christ, I had been set free.

    The freedom was real.

    Its integration would take years.

    From there, the journey became learning to bring my thoughts, choices, and behavior into alignment with what I had come to believe.

    ────── ✦ ──────
                    ✨ 2011 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    Years later, my friend Lara and I sat on my back porch while our kids caught lightning bugs in mason jars.

    That night, we got painfully honest about our struggles with food.

    The sneaking.

    The shame.

    The frustration.

    The longing for peace.

    And we made a decision:

    We were going to find peace with food, whatever it took.

    We began removing diet rules and testing everything by one question:

    Does this give peace?

    Not control.

    Not punishment.

    Not perfection.

    ➡️ Peace. 🕊️

    And by peace, I don’t mean the temporary relief of giving in to whatever is in front of you.

    I mean peace in the moment and peace after the fact.

    The kind of choice you can live with when the craving has passed and you’re looking back on it clearly.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Alignment

    ────── ✦ ──────
                  ✨ 2014 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    By 2014, Lara and I were experiencing real peace with food—and we were beginning to notice something else.

    The peace principles we were learning weren’t staying confined to food.

    They were starting to transfer into other areas of our lives too.

    That was exciting because we began to see that this wasn’t just about eating differently. God was renewing our minds about food, peace, freedom, and the choices we made. It felt like He was giving us a new operating system—a different way to think, choose, and walk.

    We were also deep into writing our Peace with Food book.

    That Christmas, I was walking through Walmart past all the holiday baking displays.

    Cookie dough mix.

    Sprinkles.

    Pecans.

    Christmas candy and treats.

    In years past, that kind of aisle could feel almost tormenting.

    But this time I walked past it and realized something:
     

    No pull.
    No panic.
    No torment.
    No hook.

    It felt amazing.

    Years earlier, I had come to know in my heart that I was free. Now I could see the transformation: truth was changing my thoughts, my choices, and what held power over me.

    What began as revelation was becoming evidence.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Evidence

    Sometimes you realize freedom has been growing when the thing that once had so much power over you is standing right in front of you—and it doesn’t own you anymore.

    ────── ✦ ──────
                  ✨ 2015 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    In 2015, Lara and I published Peace with Food.

    What had begun as a private pursuit of freedom became something we could share with other people.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Fruit

    There is something beautiful about transformation—watching what God has formed in you eventually become something that can help someone else.

    ────── ✦ ──────
              ✨ 2016–2024 ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    Then came another lesson.

    M e n o p a u s e

    Hormonal changes can alter the terrain in ways you didn’t expect. For me, menopause narrowed my margin and exposed places where I’d previously been able to be less intentional without feeling an immediate cost.

    What had once seemed workable no longer worked.

    At times, it even felt like regression.

    But what I had learned hadn’t failed me.

    I needed to build on it.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Deepening

    Transformation keeps going. Sometimes a change in our bodies or circumstances asks us to carry what we’ve learned into new terrain.

    ────── ✦ ──────
          ✨ 2024–PRESENT ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    Over the last couple of years, another piece has come into focus for me: 

    Peace with Food wasn’t the end of the journey. It was an on-ramp to stewardship—learning to care wisely for my body, my energy, my habits, my assignment, and the race God has given me to run. 🏃‍♀️

    I’m still working on that and learning that stewardship doesn’t always require heroic effort. 

    🍎 Often, it begins with LOW-HANGING FRUIT: the next simple, faithful choice within reach. Small seeds, faithfully planted, can bear fruit over time.

    And I’m still learning. I know I’ll be growing in this freedom for the rest of my life.

    ➡️ Freedom Mile Marker: Stewardship

    ────── ✦ ──────
    ✨ THE BIGGEST LESSON ✨
    ────── ✦ ──────

    After more than four decades of pursuing freedom in my relationship with food, here is one of the biggest things I’ve learned:

    Freedom is often…

    p r o g r e s s i v e

    Layer by layer.
    Truth by truth.
    Season by season.
    Mile marker by mile marker.

    Whether your struggle is food, fear, control, anger, shame, people-pleasing, comparison, or something else, I wish I had understood the process of sanctification much earlier.

    When we don’t understand how God forms us, we can easily misinterpret the journey. We may think that because the struggle hasn’t disappeared—or another layer has surfaced—we must be back at the beginning.

    Or worse, that we’ll never really change.

    But Scripture gives us a different picture: as we continue to turn to the Lord, He transforms us more and more into Christ’s image, one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18).

    That is real transformation.

    Real freedom.

    And yet, still a process.

    So if you are pursuing Christ and longing for freedom, keep abiding in Him—and take heart. The journey may be longer than you expected, but God is not wasting the process.

    Jesus reminds us:

    “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.”
    —John 15:5 (NIV)

    Keep walking with Him.
    Keep yielding.
    Keep letting truth do its work.

    The fruit may not appear all at once or on the timetable you expected, but abiding in Christ is never fruitless. If you remain in Him, fruit will come—in His time, in His way, and often layer by layer.

    Freedom is not only something Christ has given us. It is something we learn, by His grace, to increasingly walk in.

    And that is a journey worth continuing—one faithful step, one deeper layer, one mile marker at a time.

    “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”
    —Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

  • 🦸‍♂️ The Superman Pose

    When Scott and I were first married, he worked at a couple of different hospitals, including a smaller hospital about 45 minutes from where we lived. We didn’t really know anyone in that community yet—at least, I didn’t—and one of the physician leaders there invited all the doctors and their spouses over for dinner.

    They had pushed tables together so everyone was sitting around one long table.

    At some point, a couple of people got into a discussion that started out fine but gradually became a little contentious.

    And because it was the only conversation happening, the whole table basically got pulled into the tension.

    I was so absorbed in what was happening that I didn’t even notice our host get up.

    Then, out of nowhere, I heard:

    “Hey guys… guess who am I?” 

    I looked over, and he was posing through the doorway like Superman in flight—with the wall hiding the rest of his body so all I could see were his arms stretched out in the Superman pose. 🦸‍♂️

    😂

    The entire room broke.

    The conversation shifted.

    The temperature dropped.

    And I remember thinking, 

    T h a t 

    W a s 

    B r i l l i a n t   🔥

    He exercised social leadership without announcing that he was leading.

    I’ve thought about that moment many times since.

    Sometimes the wisest move in a tense moment is not to try to solve the issue at the temperature at which it first appears.

    ➜ You interrupt the momentum.

    ➜ You shift the energy.

    ➜ You loosen the tension before it takes over.

    I’ve started thinking of this as the Superman Pose.

    It doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations. Some things absolutely need to be addressed.

    And it’s not the move to use when someone is genuinely hurting and needs to feel heard. Humor can become dismissive when tenderness is what the moment requires.

    But when a conversation is becoming increasingly contentious and the temperature is climbing?

    Sometimes the most emotionally intelligent thing you can do is not referee the disagreement.

    Just lower the temperature.

    A little humor.
    A well-timed question.
    A playful interruption.
    A change of direction.

    Not every tense moment needs a speech.

    Sometimes it just needs Superman. 😉