The Suede Sofa Blog

Pain, Questions & Hidden Formation

I’ll be transparent—winter has never been my favorite.

Growing up in South Dakota, winter could feel like it went on…
and on…
and on.

The cold.
The gray.
The waiting.

And sometimes life feels that way too. 

Not the cozy winter with the fire, blanket, and warm drink.

I’m talking about the winter seasons of life.

The kind where everything seems to hit at once.
The kind where you’re tired before the day begins.
The kind where you keep asking:

👉 God, where are You?
👉 What are You doing?
👉 Why is this taking so long?
👉 Is anything growing here?

And maybe the hardest one:

👉 Why does it feel like You are silent?

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Winter can feel disorienting.

It can feel like nothing is happening.
It can feel like the prayers are hitting the ceiling.
It can feel like the old ways you heard God, sensed God, or understood life suddenly don’t feel the same.

And that can be painful. But Scripture never tells us trouble won’t come. Jesus said:

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33 (NIV)

So when winter comes, we don’t have to assume God has left us.

Winter is not proof we are forgotten.
Winter is part of life in a fallen world.

But it is also a place where God can do deep redemptive work.

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C.S. Lewis wrote that God whispers to us in our pleasures, but shouts in our pains.

And I think that is often true.

Pain gets our attention.
It slows us down.
It exposes what was hidden.
It shows us where we were leaning on control, clarity, comfort, or outcomes.

But I also want to say this carefully:

Sometimes winter does not feel like God is shouting.
Sometimes winter feels like God is silent.

And that does not mean He is absent.

It may mean the work is happening deeper than our emotions can measure.

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James tells us that trials test our faith and produce perseverance.

Romans tells us that suffering can produce perseverance, character, and hope.

Not because pain is good.
Not because suffering is easy.
Not because we pretend hard things don’t hurt.

But because God is able to form something in us through what we would never have chosen.

Winter can produce things summer never could.

Humility.
Depth.
Compassion.
Perspective.
Endurance.
Dependence on God.

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And this is why our mindset about winter matters.

If we believe winter is wasted, we may panic.
If we believe winter means God is absent, we may despair.
If we believe winter is only something to escape, we may miss what God is forming.

But if we understand that winter is part of life…

and that God can work even when we cannot see it…

then we can become less panicked and more faithful.

We can ask:

👉 What does this season require?
👉 What needs to be protected?
👉 What needs to be released?
👉 What is the next faithful step?

That’s wisdom.

That’s AIM:

Appropriate in the Moment.

Not forcing spring in the middle of winter.
Not pretending winter doesn’t hurt.

But learning to respond faithfully in the season we are actually in.

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Romans 8:28 says:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” —Romans 8:28 (NIV)

That does not mean all things are good.

They are not.

Some things are painful.
Some things are confusing.
Some things are unjust.
Some things are heartbreaking.

But God is able to work in all things.

He can redeem what we would never have chosen.

He can bring humility from pain.
Compassion from suffering.
Wisdom from confusion.
Depth from loss.
Ministry from wounds He has healed.

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After we have walked through winter, we often carry something we could not have carried before.

We become more tender with people.
More patient with process.
More compassionate toward those who are disoriented.
More aware that life is not always simple.

And maybe, after winter, we become the kind of person who can sit with someone else in their pain without rushing them, fixing them, or throwing clichés at them.

We can simply say:

“I know this is hard.
I know this feels dark.
But you are not alone.
And winter is not wasted.”

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❄️ Final Thought

Life is not linear.

It is seasonal.

And wisdom is learning:

➡️ what season you’re in
➡️ what that season requires
➡️ how to respond faithfully
➡️ where God is inviting trust

Winter can be painful.
Winter can feel long.
Winter can feel quiet.

But winter is not the end.

Spring does come.
And even before it does…
God is still God.

He is still present.
He is still faithful.

And He is still able to redeem what winter has buried.

If I had to use one word to describe the feeling of fall, it would be this: 👉nostalgic.

There’s just something about it…

A longing for something familiar. That sentimental feeling you can’t quite explain—like a quiet kind of homesickness…
👉 but in the best kind of way.

Some of my favorite fall memories take me way back… 

🏫 The smell of the school building after summer.
The excitement of seeing friends again.
The whole-school energy of reconnecting — classmates, teachers, staff, coaches, and administrators who felt like part of the family in our small school.

🏀 And in South Dakota, back then, girls played basketball in the fall — so that season carried a lot of life for me personally: teammates, coaches, practices, games, bus trips, and that familiar energy of being together again.

🏈 And then, of course, football.
Friday night games, cars lined up around the field, the anticipation before kickoff, and horns honking every time someone scored.

Go Wheelers! 🛞

🍂 That’s what fall feels like to me:

a return to something familiar.
Simple.
Meaningful.
A little nostalgic in the best kind of way.

But fall doesn’t just make us feel something.

It also shows us something.

Because if I had to use one word to describe what fall does, it would be this:

👉 reveals.

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Fields that were worked all summer…
now show their harvest.

And everywhere you look…
👉 there is evidence of what has been growing.

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Fall has a way of bringing things into view.

It’s not just a season you experience…
👉 it’s a season that reveals.

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🌾 What Fall Represents

In the seasons of life, fall is the season of: 

➡️ Harvest
➡️ Results
➡️ Outcomes
➡️ The “Reveal”
➡️ Momentum—compounded, for good or for bad

It’s when what was planted in spring
and tended in summer…

👉 becomes visible.
👉 and is brought into the light.

This is where we begin to see what has been formed—

both in us and around us. 

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✅ When the Harvest Is Good

There are seasons where you step back and see:

✔ Fruit from what was planted
✔ Growth that actually happened
✔ Effort that produced something meaningful

And there is something deeply satisfying about that.

👉 Seeing what your faithfulness produced
👉 and recognizing what God produced through it.

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🎉 Appropriate Action: CELEBRATE

Not quickly moving past it.
Not minimizing it.

But truly:

👉 celebrate it.

➡️ Thank God for it
➡️ Acknowledge what worked
➡️ Receive the fruit with gratitude

“Every good and perfect gift is from above…” —James 1:17 (NIV)

Because sometimes we rush past what God has grown through our faithful obedience…

👉 without ever pausing to recognize it. 

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⚠️ When the Harvest Is Not What You Hoped

But fall also brings a kind of honesty we don’t always expect.

Because not every harvest is what we hoped for.

➡️ Some things didn’t grow like we thought
➡️ Some seeds didn’t produce what we expected
➡️ Some areas were neglected
➡️ And some seeds produced a harvest we didn’t want

And fall doesn’t hide that.

👉 It brings it into the light
👉 often so God can redirect, refine, or restore.

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And if we’re transparent…

that can be hard.

Because fall answers the question summer was asking:

👉 “Was this working?”

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🌿 The Gift Hidden in Fall

But here’s what I’ve come to see:

👉 Fall isn’t about judgment… it’s about clarity.

It shows you:

➡️ What worked
➡️ What didn’t
➡️ What needs your attention

And that kind of clarity…

👉 is actually a gift.

👉 and often an invitation from God to adjust what comes next.

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Scripture reminds us:

“A man reaps what he sows.” —Galatians 6:7 (NIV)

Not as a threat…

👉 but as a principle we can learn from—and use for our good and the good of others.

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🌿 Appropriate Action: CONTEMPLATE

Not with shame.
Not with regret.

But with honesty and curiosity.

👉 contemplate it.

➡️ What seeds were planted?
➡️ What patterns were at play?
➡️ What might need to change next time?
➡️ Where is God inviting me to adjust?

“Let us examine our ways and test them…” —Lamentations 3:40 (NIV)

Because fall isn’t the end of the story…

👉 it’s insight for what comes next.
👉 and an opportunity to realign with God.

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🌿 A Path Forward (Redemption & Grace)

And this is important…

Because when we start talking about seeds and harvests, it’s easy to feel things like:

👉 regret

👉 shame

👉 disappointment

👉 discouragement 

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But here’s the truth:

👉 Even when the harvest is painful…

God is still the God of redemption. 

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If you recognize that you’ve planted seeds you wish you hadn’t…

👉 the story is not over. 

You can:

➡️ Confess
➡️ Turn toward God — this is what “repent” means 
➡️ Begin planting something different

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us…” —1 John 1:9 (NIV)

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And for the harvest you’re currently walking through…

👉 there is grace for that too.

Some things:

➡️ God will walk you through
➡️ God will strengthen you in
➡️ God will use to form something deeper in you

And some things…

👉 God will help you uproot, change, and move beyond over time.

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“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” —Romans 8:28 (NIV)

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So whether your harvest is something to celebrate…

or something you wish looked different…

👉 you are not without hope.

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Because with God:

👉 nothing is wasted
👉 nothing is beyond His redeeming power
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Question:

👉 What is this season revealing — and where might God be inviting redemption, realignment, or new growth? 

Growth, Work & Endurance

Principle to Tap Into ⇨ STAY FAITHFUL & ENJOY

When we think about planting in spring and harvesting in fall…

it’s easy to forget something important:

Life is lived in between.

If all we did was plant and wait for harvest… we would miss so much of what actually makes life rich.

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And for me?

Summer has always been my favorite.

There’s something about summer that seems to bring out the kid in us. Even growing up on the farm—yes, the days were long…

yes, there was work to be done…

yes, summer meant sweat, effort, and responsibility…

But when I think about summer?

It’s where so many of the good things happened.

And I wonder…

What comes to mind for you?

Because while the details may look different for each of us, most of us carry summer memories somewhere inside us. For me, it was:

hanging out with friends at Lake Mirage
meeting up at the West Side Cafe
early morning runs with my dog down gravel roads
waiting for the mail and hoping there might be a letter from a friend

And maybe for you it was:

riding bikes until dark
ballgames
swimming pools
fireworks
catching lightning bugs
family vacations
staying outside until the streetlights came on

But whatever it was…

there’s a feeling to summer.

A fullness.

A lightness.
A sense that life is moving—
and you’re right in the middle of it.

Full of life.
Full of energy.
Full of moments you don’t want to miss.

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What Summer Represents

Summer is the season of:

growth
effort
consistency
momentum
endurance

This is where what was planted in spring…

gets worked out in real life.

Not just in intention. Not just in desire. Not just in the excitement of a new beginning.

But in daily faithfulness.

Summer is where you keep showing up.

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What’s Good About Summer

Summer can be beautiful because:

life feels full
momentum starts building
signs of progress begin to appear
there is energy, movement, and activity

There’s a rhythm to it:

show up
tend what matters
enjoy the life in between

Because summer reminds us:

Life is not only about the harvest. There is goodness in the growing too.

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What’s Challenging About Summer

But summer has another side too.

It’s hot.
It’s tiring.
It can feel repetitive.
It requires endurance.

And here’s the hard part:

You’re working… but you’re not harvesting yet.

You’re showing up. Doing the right things. Putting in the effort. Staying faithful.

And still…

the full results aren’t here yet.

Meanwhile?

weeds grow too.

Because while good seed must be tended and nurtured…weeds grow on their own.

And this is where many of us struggle:

There is waiting built into growth.

“See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting…” —James 5:7 (NIV)

There is a season where you do the work…

and then you wait.

And that can make you wonder:

“Is this even working?”
“Am I making progress?”
“Is anything actually changing?”

And the answer may be:

Yes.

Just not always in ways you can see yet.

Because often:

roots are deepening
strength is being built
endurance is forming
faithfulness is taking root beneath the surface

through simple, daily faithfulness with God.

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The Tension of Summer

Summer is both full and demanding at the same time.

There is joy…and there is effort.
There is life to enjoy…and work that still has to be done.
There is momentum…and there is maintenance.
There is beauty…and there are weeds.

And somewhere in that tension…

God is forming faithfulness in you.

Not usually through dramatic moments.
Not usually through instant results.
Not usually through everything feeling exciting all the time.

But through showing up again and again.

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Partnership in Summer

Just like in spring…you have a role.

You show up.
You stay faithful.
You keep tending what matters. You keep walking with God.

But even here…

you are not the one producing the growth.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest…” —Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

You are responsible for faithfulness. God is responsible for the fruit.

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Appropriate Action in Summer

So what is the appropriate action in summer?

Stay faithful—with God.

Not sporadic.
Not impulsive.
Not frantic.

Just faithful.

Keep showing up.
Keep tending what matters.
Keep pulling the weeds.
Keep trusting what God is doing.
Keep enjoying the life happening right in front of you.

Because summer is where:

consistency becomes something real
endurance starts to form
faithfulness begins taking root
and growth happens one ordinary day at a time

And maybe just as important?

Don’t miss the life happening while you’re building it.

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Final Thought

Summer doesn’t always feel rewarding in the moment…but it matters more than you think.

Because what you do here—in the ordinary, repetitive, faithful days—will often determine what gets revealed later.

So in summer:

Stay faithful.
Tend what matters.
Enjoy the life in between.
Trust God with the growth.

Principle to Tap Into ⇨ STEWARD + TRUST

There’s something important to understand before we go any further…

Because everything we’re about to talk about—seasons, growth, harvest…

can be approached in a few different ways.

You can look at life and think:

“It’s all up to me.”

or

“It’s all out of my control.”

But Scripture gives us a different picture:

it’s both responsibility and dependence

From the very beginning, this was God’s design:

“Be fruitful and multiply…” —Genesis 1:28

We were created to be fruitful
to steward what we’ve been given

to participate in what God is doing

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But here’s where it gets really important…

we are not the source of the growth

Paul says it clearly:

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.” —1 Corinthians 3:6 (NIV)

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We plant
We water
We show up

But:

God gives the growth

And Jesus takes it even deeper:

“I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from me you can do nothing.” —John 15:5 (NIV)

Fruit is not something we manufacture
it’s something that is produced through connection

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What This Means

This is what partnership with God looks like:

We take responsibility for the assignment He’s given
We trust God with the rest

As St. Augustine said, “Without God, we cannot. Without us, God will not”

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Our Role

Plant intentionally
Show up consistently
Steward what we’ve been given
Stay connected to God

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God’s Role

Bring the growth
Produce the fruit
Work beneath the surface
Do what we cannot do

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Where We Get Off Track

We tend to drift to one side or the other:

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Over-responsibility

“It all depends on me”

leads to striving, pressure, burnout

(aka… the grind)

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Under-responsibility

“God will take care of it”

leads to passivity, inaction

(aka… “if it’s meant to be, it will be”)

But wisdom lives here:

faithful stewardship + surrendered trust

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A Simple Way to Think About It

Take control over what you have control over (aka your actions, words, and attitudes)
Trust God with the rest

Or even simpler:

Steward the seed
Trust God for the harvest

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Why This Matters

Because when you understand this…

you stop trying to control everything
you stop sitting back and doing nothing

And instead:

you begin to walk with God in the process

Which means:

when it’s time to plant—you plant
when it’s time to work—you work
when it’s time to wait—you trust

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Bringing It Into the Seasons

This is the lens for everything we’re about to walk through:

Spring → we plant with God
Summer → we persevere with God
Fall → we harvest and reflect with God
Winter → we are formed by God

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Final Thought

Steward what’s yours. Trust God with what’s His.

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Question:

Where do you tend to drift—trying to control everything…

or stepping back too much?

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Have you ever stood at the beginning of something…and felt completely stuck?

Not because you don’t care—but because it feels overwhelming. Too many moving parts. Too many decisions. Too many unknowns.

So instead of moving forward…you freeze.

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The Promise We Forget

For the follower of Christ, there’s a promise:

“The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord…” —Psalm 37:23 (AMP)

(And yes—this applies to women too )

Let that sink in.

You are not responsible for the whole plan.
You are not responsible for the outcome.

God is.

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The Shift

Instead of trying to figure everything out…

God orders the steps
You take the step
That’s it.

Not the whole journey. Just the next step.

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When You Don’t Know Where to Start

When everything feels overwhelming, don’t ask: “What do I do about everything?”

Ask: What is the most faithful next step right in front of me?

This is why I love the Low-Hanging Fruit™ Framework.

Because when life feels big and unclear, you don’t need a full plan…

you need an ON-RAMP (And I’ve also found that’s where God’s grace is. )

Low-hanging fruit helps you identify:

• what is right in front of you
• what you can actually do now
• what will create movement

And here’s what’s powerful:

Not everything carries equal weight. There is always:

a 1% step (aka your ON-RAMP) that moves the other 99%

That’s your low-hanging fruit. That’s your starting point.

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Where Momentum Begins

Here’s what most people miss:

Momentum doesn’t come from big moves
It comes from faithful small steps

When you take the right next step you create movement. Movement builds confidence. Confidence builds consistency. And consistency?

That’s where momentum lives.

You don’t need to feel ready. You don’t need the whole plan.

You just need to move.

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This Is a Walk

Following God isn’t a blueprint you execute…It’s a walk you live.

And in a walk:

You can only take one step at a time.

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But How Do You Know It’s the Right Step?

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart…” —Proverbs 3:5–6

You seek God. You surrender. And then…

you step.

And as you do, pay attention to this:

Peace → move forward
Pause → seek again
No peace → wait, don’t force it

Not comfort. Not ease.

Peace.

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Final Thought

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

Just be faithful in the step in front of you. Because when God orders your steps…

the pressure is off

the path unfolds

and faith becomes something you actually live

Find your low-hanging fruit
Take your step
Trust Him with the rest

One principle I’ve returned to again and again in my journey of seeking Peace with Food has been this:

Use the resources you have.

This principle showed up often during that season, and when Peace with Food was published in 2015, it even had a chapter all its own. (Page 194 for any of you who still have your copy and want a quick refresher )

Later, when the Low-Hanging Fruit Framework started taking form, I realized this principle was foundational there as well.

Start with what is already within reach. You may not have everything — but you have enough for the next step.

And once you take that step, you’ll have enough for the step after that.

Using the resources you have is really about stewarding well the opportunities God gives you.

“Look carefully then how you walk… making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity].” —Ephesians 5:15 (AMPC)

Faithfulness with today’s opportunity often reveals tomorrow’s provision.

The Lie We Believe

There is a lie we tend to believe. It goes like this:

“If I just had more…”

Time
Money
Clarity
Confidence
Support
Influence
Education
Fill in the Blank

But what if the issue isn’t scarcity — but stewardship of what we already have?

The Biblical Pattern

When Moses felt unqualified, God asked:
“What is that in your hand?” —Exodus 4:2

When the disciples faced a hungry crowd, they saw lack — just five loaves and two fish.

Small? Yes.

Insignificant? It seemed that way. But in God’s hands, it was more than enough. Faith rarely begins with abundance. It begins with what is already in your hand.

Low-Hanging Fruit

The Low-Hanging Fruit principle is about starting with what is already available to you, aka using the resources you have. It simply means:

Use what’s accessible
Leverage what’s within reach
Steward what you already have

Faithfulness with small things prepares you for greater ones. You don’t need a new life to begin. You simply need to recognize the resources already available to you.

What Counts as a Resource?

Resources are not just money.

They include:

Time
Energy
Experience
Lessons learned
Relationships
Mentors
Perspective
Education
Skills
Ideas
Creativity
Technology
Tools
Challenges you’ve overcome
Wisdom gained from pain

Today’s Action Step

Take inventory.

What is currently in your hand?

What resource have you been overlooking?
What under-utilized strength is sitting idle?
What Low-Hanging Fruit is within reach?

Identify one resource. Leverage it. Take one step. Plant the seed.

In doing so, you place something in God’s hands for Him to multiply.