The Suede Sofa Blog

This Incredible Thing Called Peace

I was walking down the aisles of my grocery store today just minding my own business. My thoughts were on the next errands I had to run, trying to estimate the time it would take for each and determine if I would be able to complete them before my 1:00 p.m. appointment.

As I pushed my cart, I was met with the blitz of holiday food conveniently placed where it could not be missed. There, in the center aisle, were the ingredients for your favorite Thanksgiving feast. Green bean casserole with French fried onions, dressing, pumpkin pie, cookie mixes, Velveeta cheese with RO*TEL, You name it, it was probably there. And all I could do was send up a whisper of “thanks”.

For a brief moment I was reminded of my dieting days, the days before I had this incredible thing called Peace with Food. Back then, I couldn’t go to the grocery store during the holidays without facing one of two options:

Option 1 – Go off my diet and indulge which would inevitably result in me spiraling out of control.
Option 2 – Resist the incredible urge to buy these “off-limit” tempting foods. The result of this option? Resent my diet for making me feel deprived which would eventually cause me to throw off all restraint, indulge, and spiral out of control.

Two different options. The same end result.

But thankfully, that was before Peace with Food. Now I am no longer tormented with the grocery store or with the foods frequently flashed before us during the holidays. That is because I now know that I can have whatever I want, just maybe not as much as I want. And with this freedom to enjoy the foods I love, surprisingly I really don’t desire them that much and when I do, I now know how to enjoy them in moderation and then move on, feeling content and satisfied.

Yes, I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving and Peace with Food is definitely one of them.

Take-Home Message:

With Peace with Food, you have the freedom to enjoy the foods you love in moderation and then move on feeling content and satisfied.

Lara’s Story

As Robynn said, we all have a different story which is compiled of dreams, hopes and fears. Each of us is unique, making every individual like no other…which brings you to my story…

I don’t remember how much I weighed back in late elementary school, but the way my body felt and looked is still vivid in my mind. I remember countless times staring at my reflection in the mirror and telling myself in disgust that I was–(I hate to use this word but this is how I “felt”)– fat. It pains me to this day even recalling that time in my life, because the ache it caused me was deep. I was unhappy and felt trapped in my own body.

When I hit eighth grade, I became more active in sports and hit a growth spurt. The combination of those two things allowed me to thin down, but that didn’t mean my eating habits improved. I was lucky enough to stay thin throughout high school due to being tall and active, but deep down I never had peace with food and the memories of my childhood food struggle continued to haunt me.

I gained some weight when I went to college and remember trying to diet–here and there–to shed a few quick pounds. Everyone may have looked at me and thought I was thin, but I had them fooled in regards to how I felt. Food, and my obsession to have an “ideal” body, secretly controlled my life. As a college freshman I remember buying a huge bag of kettle corn from Sam’s Club. I told myself I could eat only popcorn and water, in hopes to lose five pounds. I would even pass up eating dinner with my friends because I had promised myself to stick with my plan—only to throw my hands up in defeat a week later after a couple pound gain. Not to mention, I missed out on those fun outings I had passed up.

The saga continued after college and into my marriage. I had such a love/hate relationship with food. Loved how it tasted but hated how it made me feel after eating too much of it and the control it had over my life. I would frantically read any new diet fad on a magazine–in hopes to put an end to this madness–but it wasn’t until years later that I found the answer.

When I met Robynn, and our friendship grew, we began to openly discuss our secret struggles with food. It wasn’t until then that I realized I wasn’t alone. And the more we talked about our frustrations, the more we were determined to stop the food insanity that had taken over our lives.

That is where our peace with food journey began. And since it would be too difficult to try and share our experiences all in one post, we will share it in smaller segments as we continue to blog. We hope you’ll stay with us and invite others to join the discussion as we share how to live in PEACE with food.

More to come!

This is My Story . . .

We all have a story that defines who we are.

In this story are woven the threads of our dreams, hopes, fears, disappointments, circumstances, and our past – uniquely making us a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

Part of my story includes my struggle with food beginning in high school. I vividly remember weighing in at 98 lbs. during gymnastics in junior high. But by the end of my sophomore year of high school I was up to 143 lbs – a whopping 45-lb. weight gain on my 5’4 medium size frame. I had to do something and I had to do it fast!

That was when I began my career of dieting.

Being athletic and participating in a whole lot of sports and activities allowed me to get back down to a normal weight but I was never quite satisfied with my body. This led to the perpetual chase of the “ideal weight” carrot. Know what I’m talking about? It is crazy, but that is how I lived for so many years of my life.

It was my normal, my landscape.

But I can actually say that it all changed when I began living at Peace with Food. That is not to say I don’t have an ideal weight, because I do, but this time it is more of an optimal weight range than an unrealistic all-time-low number. No more of this all-or-nothing mindset. Enough of the obsession!

How did I get this peace? Here it is in a nutshell. I began believing that I could do it and I changed the way I thought about my situation. That was step one. It was a big step that took me years. But even in believing that I could have Peace with Food (and peace with my body) didn’t result in it magically appearing. After years of failed attempts, saying I was frustrated with my situation is putting it mildly. I needed practical steps to take and the skills to carry it out. I needed to find the answer to my dilemma, the combination to the lock. Enter Peace with Food.

As I began writing this post I really had to ask myself, “What is my purpose for sharing this part of my life? Is it to inspire, motivate, entertain?” I think it can be all of these, but more than that, I feel a calling to help others in their journey to Peace with Food. That’s my mission, my assignment – to share with others what I have learned in the decades I’ve spent struggling with food and help them experience peace and freedom.

When I was in college, my Biochem instructor would always say in his Indian accent, “Take-home-message.” We knew that when he uttered these three choppy words we needed to take note because the point he was about to make was of utmost importance. That is what I hope to leave in every Peace with Food post. A take-home message. A nugget that will help you live at greater Peace with Food.

So here’s the Take-Home Message:

No matter what your story is, you can have Peace with Food. No matter what your beginning is, you can rewrite the end.

P. S. Stay tuned for Lara’s Story . . .

Aha! Peace with Food!!

It was just your ordinary sultry summer night in Kansas, or so we thought. . .

As we sat on the back porch watching our kids catch lightning bugs, little did we know that we were about to embark upon the solution to our greatest struggle and frustration – peace with food and peace with our bodies.

For whatever reason, on this evening we openly shared our challenges with food and our bodies, and as we did, we realized that our stories weren’t all that different. Empowered with the knowledge that we weren’t alone, we were determined to find what we dubbed Peace with Food.

As we set out on this adventure we were committed to a few things:

We would follow peace, not diets and rules.
We would experiment to see what worked best for us individually.
We would enjoy our life along the way.
We would not rest until we had found Peace with Food.

That journey began over three years ago and today, well, we can say we found it. We found Peace with Food.

What exactly is Peace with Food? Well, we hope to share with you our revelations and what we have discovered in future posts. It has been a great journey so far and with every mile marker we experience greater levels of peace.

Are you looking for Peace with Food and your body? Or maybe you know someone who is. If peace has eluded you, be assured, you can have it. You can experience your “Aha” moment, and live at Peace with Food.

P.S. Stay tuned . . . We will be sharing our personal stories on our journey to Peace with Food.

How to Reverse Cruddy Eating in 90-Seconds

I don’t know about you, but some days I just feel cruddy. And what do I do when I feel cruddy? I eat cruddy.

It is easy to underestimate the power of how our body and surroundings make us feel. For example, some days I start my day by wearing workout gear and sneakers. The body is always firmer after a long night of rest and a new pair of clothes feels refreshing. Life is good, right?

After a morning of dropping kids off at school, then hurrying home to frantically do housework, make phone calls, fill orders, and tend to my toddler, I am back in town to pick up my son. After lunch, reading time, and tucking the kids in bed, it’s 1:00. As I debate how to spend the kids’ nap time, I walk in circles through the house realizing I am accompanied with a film of greasiness on my face. The house is warmer now since the sun is in full swing, and because I forgot to turn on the fans and adjust the temperature, there is no air movement in the room. The stillness gives me hot flashes which only contribute to making me feel “off”. Once I realize I’m feeling sluggish, I notice the workout clothes, which once jumpstarted my day, suddenly serve a different purpose: great stretchy clothes to encourage gorging on food followed by an afternoon nap in bed.

How I spent the rest of these cruddy days is so vivid in my mind because that was my life when I became a stay-at-home mom over 7 years ago. I would wake up from that nap, feeling even worse because I wasted my kid-free time by eating and sleeping. I would feel lethargic from then on, resulting in a throw-in-the-towel mindset by eating poorly and being unproductive and moody until I rolled into bed later that night.

So how did I fix this vicious cycle? These days, I listen to my body and no longer let my surroundings control me. If I can tell I am getting warm or feeling sluggish, I reverse these feelings by taking a 90-second shower. That’s right, I stop what I am doing, jump in the shower to cool off and wash my face (I don’t necessarily wash my hair) and I put on a fresh pair of clothes. Giving my body a quick rinse makes me feel better instantly. I am amazed how much it changes my mindset, productivity, and eating for the rest of the day.

I realize if you are not home during the day, this would be impossible to do. I encourage you to look more closely at your surroundings and see what triggers you to feel cruddy. Maybe you need to light a refreshing candle in the afternoon at work or bring a small fan for your desk if you struggle with the stillness in the air (like I do!). Whatever it is, many times it is an action that only takes a few seconds. I would consider that time well invested if it keeps me feeling better the rest of the day, wouldn’t you?

What triggers your cruddy feelings, resulting in cruddy eating? What is one small step you can make today to reverse these feelings?

If You Are In It, You Can Win It!

Do you find yourself in a cHalleNge, trial, or adversity that seems inSurMountAble? Maybe your situation is so overwhelming and confusing you have no clue what to do next. If this describes you, I want to eNcoUrage you with a statement that I heard months ago. The moment I heard it, it grabbed me:

“If you are in it, you can win it!”

There is nothing that you are facing that you can’t oVerCome. Not sure what to do or where to begin? Just take one step – the one directly in front of you regardless how small or insignificant it may seem. Maybe that one step is reaching out for help. Maybe it is trying a different aPproAch. Whatever you do, hang on and don’t let go! You’ll win it if you just don’t quit. :)

Is the Halloween Candy Tormenting You?

If my kids are eating Halloween candy, then you better expect to see me eating it too. But not only will I have just one or two with them, I’ll take it a step further by secretly grabbing more and stuffing it in the front of my hoodie pocket after telling them, “You’ve had enough!” Once they leave the room, I’ll secure my comfy spot on the couch only to find myself surrounded with dozens of candy bar wrappers just a few moments later…Oh and a large, empty cup of milk of course.

Any time Halloween rolled around, that is what my days looked like in years past. Reflecting back, I would gorge myself in Halloween candy because 1) I knew if I didn’t, someone else would eat all the “good stuff” …or…2)I just let it torment me by being easily available and felt guilty for throwing it out or giving it away. So what did I do? I mindlessly ate it.

Now that I have peace with food, this is what my relationship with Halloween candy looks like: before even looking at the mountainous options in the bowl, I think about what sounds good. Then, I approach “THE BOWL”. If I’m in luck, and find a Butterfinger or Twix, I take a couple. If I can’t find what I was looking for, I usually don’t take anything at all. I don’t want to waste my calories on something I wasn’t craving in the first place.

From there, I put the bowl away in a cabinet. I then grab my glass of milk, sit down (preferably without kids needing me at the moment—so I may have to postpone this for after they go to bed) and I savor what is in front of me. I mean, TRULY SAVOR it. And once I take that last bite, there is a great sense of satisfaction because my mind went through a start to finish process. Yum.

On the other hand, if I were to sit in front of an endless bowl of candy, or see it staring at me across the room all day, I’ll never feel like my mission to eat and enjoy it is complete. So I’ll just keep eating it, resulting in feeling more and more sluggish with every bite. And at that point, I am not savoring anything. I’m just eating because it is available.

If it is too tempting knowing the candy is just a cabinet door away, it may be more helpful to pick out your absolute favorites and then donate the rest. I’ve also been known to even throw it away! Yes, I do. And I have to close my eyes when I see the chocolate bar go in the trash. BUT, if I was only going to eat it because I felt guilty for throwing it out—even if it was going to make me feel sluggish later, causing me to eat more due to feeling depressed—it probably isn’t a good enough reason for me to keep it around.

So there you have it! I hope some of these ideas can help lessen the torment you may have been experiencing in the last week!

Until next time,

There’s No Love-It Or List-It. . .

If you’ve ever seen HGTV’s Love It Or List It you may have found yourself getting caught up in the decision the homeowner faces at the end of the episode – do they Love It or do they List It? At times I’ll even shout out, “Love it!” or “List it!”, hoping the homeowner sees it my way! Who cares if they don’t choose my option, I’m not going to be living with them? I guess that is the power of reality TV – we get to live vicariously through someone else’s life.

But when it comes to our body, there is no “Love It” or “List It” option, instead it is our’s for life. For some this would appear to be a blessing and others a curse. Where do you fall? Do you consider your body a blessing or a curse?

Learning to love yourself {and your body} is what peace with food is all about. It is about not only having peace with food, but having peace with yourself. This is something that took us years to learn, but little by little we began to accept the body we had been given, acknowledge what we didn’t like about it, determine what was in our power to change and then be grateful for the blessing it was – a gift that gave us access to life. That is not to say we don’t ever see aspects of our body we wish were different, but trying to change something we couldn’t was exhausting. We knew there had to be a better way and we just wanted peace.

We hope if you’re reading this post and are unhappy with your body you will be encouraged that we’ve been there and so have countless others. Most of all, we hope you’ll be able to experience peace with your body and be able to say, “Love It!”

Season of Food

Hi Suede Sofa Readers! It’s been a while, dear friends–thanks for sticking with us.

Robynn and I LOVE the holidays. Absolutely LOVE them. But we also know that the holiday season can present it’s own challenges, one being FoOd. Since the holidays are right around the corner, we have decided to spend the next few months discussing food, weight loss, and body image. We are going to share ways to have peace in those areas without having to be on a diet, dreading exercise or giving up your favorite foods. Sounds good to be true, right? Well it is true, and you can have it. We hope you’ll join us, for what we are calling theBut why wait for Thanksgiving? Let’s get started today by sharing a little Q & A. These are answers we gave before we learned how to have peace with food.

What do you dread the most about the holidays?

Lara: There is hardly anything I dread I dread about the holidays–I absolutely LOVE them! But now that you mention it, I guess I don’t look forward to gaining a few pounds due to all the good food. Either that or I dread feeling like I have to deprive myself of my favorite holiday treats so I don’t gain weight.

Robynn: Before I started having peace with food I lived in one extreme {a.k.a insanity} or the other. The first extreme was depriving myself of my favorite holiday foods because I was on a diet. The other extreme was rebelling against dieting by giving myself permission to indulge on anything I wanted which only caused me to gain weight and feel cruddy about myself.

Can you remember a time when you overindulged during the holidays?

Lara: Can I remember A time? Are you kidding? I have countless memories of spending the holidays eating so much I was stuffed before I went to bed and still suffered from a eating hangover the next morning. It’s obvious that you ate too much when you still feel full after waking up the next day. Egh!

Robynn: As I stated above, Yes! Too many times to count. However, with the skills Lara and I have learned that living with peace may not mean perfection but I have a much greater success rate. :)

Do the holidays ever present challenges for you? If so, we’ll be sharing what we’ve learned and how to maintain peace during the season of food!

Until next time,

When Tragedy Strikes

This is a tough one. No one wants to face a tragedy, yet you may encounter one in your lifetime. How is one to handle these events? How do we cope with the pain, suffering, and feeling of helplessness? Not to mention, how to avoid the fear of it happening again…

First, we weren’t meant to do this alone. Long ago, we were sent someone who would save us. Someone who came to reassure us that we don’t have to walk our path alone. God knew life on Earth would be difficult, and He wants to help lighten our load. He began restoring our confidence by sending His very own son, Jesus.

Does knowing we have our faith mean it takes away all of our pain and sadness? Unfortunately it doesn’t, but it does provide enough comfort to keep us going. To keep praying. To not lose sight of what God has called us to do: trust in Him and continue to live out the life set before us.

Secondly, we can’t live in fear. I know it is easier said than done. But do we really have a better option? If we are realistic with ourselves, life will consist of steady highs and lows (regardless of how hard we try to control them). So, why not have something constant to lean on through it all? God is here to take care of us. At times it may not seem like it—especially on Earth—but if you keep your eyes on the eternal promise, we are assured He has a place more amazing than we can imagine, waiting specifically for us.

If you are going through a difficult time right now, remember that God is right there with you. He wants to pick you up and carry you. Let Him. And don’t stop there. When He speaks, hear His voice….

“Hang with me. I know this is tough. I am here with you. Your eternal rewards will be great, I promise. Never lose sight of me. I love you. ”

I’m praying for you. Keep the faith-

Lara