The Suede Sofa Blog

Is the Halloween Candy Tormenting You?

If my kids are eating Halloween candy, then you better expect to see me eating it too. But not only will I have just one or two with them, I’ll take it a step further by secretly grabbing more and stuffing it in the front of my hoodie pocket after telling them, “You’ve had enough!” Once they leave the room, I’ll secure my comfy spot on the couch only to find myself surrounded with dozens of candy bar wrappers just a few moments later…Oh and a large, empty cup of milk of course.

Any time Halloween rolled around, that is what my days looked like in years past. Reflecting back, I would gorge myself in Halloween candy because 1) I knew if I didn’t, someone else would eat all the “good stuff” …or…2)I just let it torment me by being easily available and felt guilty for throwing it out or giving it away. So what did I do? I mindlessly ate it.

Now that I have peace with food, this is what my relationship with Halloween candy looks like: before even looking at the mountainous options in the bowl, I think about what sounds good. Then, I approach “THE BOWL”. If I’m in luck, and find a Butterfinger or Twix, I take a couple. If I can’t find what I was looking for, I usually don’t take anything at all. I don’t want to waste my calories on something I wasn’t craving in the first place.

From there, I put the bowl away in a cabinet. I then grab my glass of milk, sit down (preferably without kids needing me at the moment—so I may have to postpone this for after they go to bed) and I savor what is in front of me. I mean, TRULY SAVOR it. And once I take that last bite, there is a great sense of satisfaction because my mind went through a start to finish process. Yum.

On the other hand, if I were to sit in front of an endless bowl of candy, or see it staring at me across the room all day, I’ll never feel like my mission to eat and enjoy it is complete. So I’ll just keep eating it, resulting in feeling more and more sluggish with every bite. And at that point, I am not savoring anything. I’m just eating because it is available.

If it is too tempting knowing the candy is just a cabinet door away, it may be more helpful to pick out your absolute favorites and then donate the rest. I’ve also been known to even throw it away! Yes, I do. And I have to close my eyes when I see the chocolate bar go in the trash. BUT, if I was only going to eat it because I felt guilty for throwing it out—even if it was going to make me feel sluggish later, causing me to eat more due to feeling depressed—it probably isn’t a good enough reason for me to keep it around.

So there you have it! I hope some of these ideas can help lessen the torment you may have been experiencing in the last week!

Until next time,

There’s No Love-It Or List-It. . .

If you’ve ever seen HGTV’s Love It Or List It you may have found yourself getting caught up in the decision the homeowner faces at the end of the episode – do they Love It or do they List It? At times I’ll even shout out, “Love it!” or “List it!”, hoping the homeowner sees it my way! Who cares if they don’t choose my option, I’m not going to be living with them? I guess that is the power of reality TV – we get to live vicariously through someone else’s life.

But when it comes to our body, there is no “Love It” or “List It” option, instead it is our’s for life. For some this would appear to be a blessing and others a curse. Where do you fall? Do you consider your body a blessing or a curse?

Learning to love yourself {and your body} is what peace with food is all about. It is about not only having peace with food, but having peace with yourself. This is something that took us years to learn, but little by little we began to accept the body we had been given, acknowledge what we didn’t like about it, determine what was in our power to change and then be grateful for the blessing it was – a gift that gave us access to life. That is not to say we don’t ever see aspects of our body we wish were different, but trying to change something we couldn’t was exhausting. We knew there had to be a better way and we just wanted peace.

We hope if you’re reading this post and are unhappy with your body you will be encouraged that we’ve been there and so have countless others. Most of all, we hope you’ll be able to experience peace with your body and be able to say, “Love It!”

Season of Food

Hi Suede Sofa Readers! It’s been a while, dear friends–thanks for sticking with us.

Robynn and I LOVE the holidays. Absolutely LOVE them. But we also know that the holiday season can present it’s own challenges, one being FoOd. Since the holidays are right around the corner, we have decided to spend the next few months discussing food, weight loss, and body image. We are going to share ways to have peace in those areas without having to be on a diet, dreading exercise or giving up your favorite foods. Sounds good to be true, right? Well it is true, and you can have it. We hope you’ll join us, for what we are calling theBut why wait for Thanksgiving? Let’s get started today by sharing a little Q & A. These are answers we gave before we learned how to have peace with food.

What do you dread the most about the holidays?

Lara: There is hardly anything I dread I dread about the holidays–I absolutely LOVE them! But now that you mention it, I guess I don’t look forward to gaining a few pounds due to all the good food. Either that or I dread feeling like I have to deprive myself of my favorite holiday treats so I don’t gain weight.

Robynn: Before I started having peace with food I lived in one extreme {a.k.a insanity} or the other. The first extreme was depriving myself of my favorite holiday foods because I was on a diet. The other extreme was rebelling against dieting by giving myself permission to indulge on anything I wanted which only caused me to gain weight and feel cruddy about myself.

Can you remember a time when you overindulged during the holidays?

Lara: Can I remember A time? Are you kidding? I have countless memories of spending the holidays eating so much I was stuffed before I went to bed and still suffered from a eating hangover the next morning. It’s obvious that you ate too much when you still feel full after waking up the next day. Egh!

Robynn: As I stated above, Yes! Too many times to count. However, with the skills Lara and I have learned that living with peace may not mean perfection but I have a much greater success rate. :)

Do the holidays ever present challenges for you? If so, we’ll be sharing what we’ve learned and how to maintain peace during the season of food!

Until next time,

When Tragedy Strikes

This is a tough one. No one wants to face a tragedy, yet you may encounter one in your lifetime. How is one to handle these events? How do we cope with the pain, suffering, and feeling of helplessness? Not to mention, how to avoid the fear of it happening again…

First, we weren’t meant to do this alone. Long ago, we were sent someone who would save us. Someone who came to reassure us that we don’t have to walk our path alone. God knew life on Earth would be difficult, and He wants to help lighten our load. He began restoring our confidence by sending His very own son, Jesus.

Does knowing we have our faith mean it takes away all of our pain and sadness? Unfortunately it doesn’t, but it does provide enough comfort to keep us going. To keep praying. To not lose sight of what God has called us to do: trust in Him and continue to live out the life set before us.

Secondly, we can’t live in fear. I know it is easier said than done. But do we really have a better option? If we are realistic with ourselves, life will consist of steady highs and lows (regardless of how hard we try to control them). So, why not have something constant to lean on through it all? God is here to take care of us. At times it may not seem like it—especially on Earth—but if you keep your eyes on the eternal promise, we are assured He has a place more amazing than we can imagine, waiting specifically for us.

If you are going through a difficult time right now, remember that God is right there with you. He wants to pick you up and carry you. Let Him. And don’t stop there. When He speaks, hear His voice….

“Hang with me. I know this is tough. I am here with you. Your eternal rewards will be great, I promise. Never lose sight of me. I love you. ”

I’m praying for you. Keep the faith-

Lara

What’s Next?

It’s been ages since I posted and this year has been filled with twists, turns and unexpected trials and triumphs. With my son moving up to 1st grade and my daughter going into her last year of nursery school, I found myself at a crossroad with no idea of the next direction I would go. Being a stay at home mom for seven years was a gift that I am lucky to have had. I started my role as “Mommy,” “Mama,” and “MOM” after teaching 1st grade for eight years and loved my new identity. Time has flown by and I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been home almost as long as I was in the classroom and can’t imagine jumping back into a teaching career when I’ve been out of practice for so long. So…where does that leave me? I’m no longer a first grade teacher, an identity I cherished and was proud of, but I’m also not a mommy of babies and toddlers anymore which is what I came to love even more than my previous role. I felt like I was slowly becoming NOBODY.

Bigger kids means bigger financial needs and the strain of a single income was becoming apparent. The obvious solution would be going back to teaching. However, there are no words to describe the anxiety I felt when even thinking about returning to teaching. Being out of the classroom for so long makes it that much harder to imagine going back. If I had taken a maternity leave and gone back right away my kids wouldn’t know any different and neither would I. Problem is I know how much I love bringing them to school and picking them up. I love “Mommy and Abby days” when she doesn’t have school. I couldn’t imagine giving it up.

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Conflicted with finding an answer that would be best for our family I had one of those MEANT TO BE experiences that has changed the path from uncertainty to determination. I have always believed that certain people come into our lives for a reason. There is no doubt in my mind that Tracy was one of those people. My husband went to high school with Tracy and we have been facebook friends for a while. She lives in Georgia and was a marine biologist, but is now a division leader with lia sophia. For those of you who are not familiar with lia sophia it is a direct sales company that offers gorgeous jewelry at affordable prices (Think Tupperware party, but with jewelry)! One day Tracy sent me a message asking me if I would be willing to host a facebook virtual jewelry party so she could show her team that it is possible to connect with friends from out of state and build your business through technology. I thought about it and mentioned it to my husband and he said to me, “Maybe you should talk to Tracy about selling lia sophia, she was a marine biologist and is now really successful doing this and is home with her kids.” That was it…I talked to Tracy once and signed up! That was two months ago and boy has my world CHANGED for the BETTER! Through friends and family who volunteered to host parties I have been able to get my business started and already recruited a customer to join my “team”! I am on my way to promoting to Unit Leader and am still in awe that this practically fell into my lap. Tracy has guided me EVERY step of the way and has been my biggest cheerleader. It is AMAZING to work for a company that encourages women to be their own boss, set goals and attain them, and live their dream. My dream has always been to be home with my kids. My fondest memories are of my mom being home with me and my sister. I completely understand that this is not an option for many and that there are many women who even if staying home was an option would choose to continue with their career. The choice we each make does not DEFINE the type of mother you are. It does not make one of us better than the other. It is simply the path that each mother takes on the road to raising their children to be the best they can be!

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In the past two months I have gained a new level of confidence and am proud of the work I have done to build my business. Dressing up my “Mommy” clothes with all of my new jewelry has added an element of fun to my days. I LOVE being my own boss, making my own hours, and helping our family out with finances. People do come into our lives for a reason…Tracy came into mine to be the light on this exciting new journey that I am on.

Visit my business Website!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Be Rewarded for Shopping Online

As I’m sure many of you can relate, shopping with kids in NoT exactly my favorite thing to do. There is always the fighting over who sits where in the cart, then the whining that I’m taking too long, and of course the dreaded tantrum over the desperately needed toy they just HaVe to HaVe! My kids can turn a 5 minute trip to Home Depot for light bulbs into a disaster. They will manage to find something they need…such as the Tinker Bell and Lightning McQueen flashlights that are placed just at their eye level so they can pull the, “Oh wait, we need this!”

Thanks to the ease of online shopping and the availability of coupon codes, (read our post on how to get coupon codes) and free shipping, I try to avoid going out to the stores as much as possible. I was recently introduced to an online shopping opportunity even better than coupon codes! EBATES! Ebates is a company that gives you cash back if you shop through the links listed on their site. They advertise for the stores and you make money back by shopping through their link. It is a WIN WIN for everyone! At first I thought it was too good to be true, but I did my research and have been a member and shopping with them for a month now and earned over $30 back on purchases I would have made whether I ordered them through the Ebates site or not. You can track sales, coupons, and percentages that stores are giving back on their site. The money you earn from shopping is either mailed to you in check form or can be deposited directly into your paypal account. You can still use coupon codes and free shipping codes and get whatever percentage that particular store is offering back on the day you are shopping.

Here’s a link to get you started!

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=1F4aHuk9ijWgSKFCdEfzww%3D%3D

Happy Stress Free Shopping!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Homemade Christmas Potpourri

I know I shared this a couple of years ago, but I just had to share this again for anyone that may have missed it! I LoVe this homemade potpourri! It is super easy to make and will smell up your entire home for the holidays! Try it out and let me know what you think!

3 Cinnamon Sticks

3 Bay Leaves

¼ C. Cloves

2 Lemon Wedges

1 Orange Peel

(Top 3 ingredients are found in the dry spice section of the grocery store.)

CoMbiNe all of these ingredients in a small crock-pot. Add water to cover top of all ingredients. Leave on low temperature. As the smell fades, continue to add water and various ingredients to keep the mixture moist for a continuous yummy smell! EnJoy!

*Be sure to unplug your crockpot at night because all the water will be gone by morning and the potpourri will be burnt!

*If you are ready to start a new batch, drain the water and set out the old potpourri to dry. Even as dry potpourri it smells AWESOME! Place the dry potpourri in a pretty bowl on a table as another way to smell up your home and extend the life of your potpourri!

Need a quick X-Mas Present idea?! Throw the ingredients into a basket or mini-crockpot and give as a gift! Include a printed version of the recipe by clicking here!

~Lara

Christmas Card Chaos

Tis’ the season for trying to capture that PeRfEcT photo for the annual Christmas card! You know the one I’m referring to that gives the illusion that your kids never fight, don’t play in the mud, and wear matching outfits daily. First there is the decision over whether to go to a portrait studio, hire a photographer and do an outdoor family photo shoot, or take the pictures yourself. Once that is decided the planning of the outfits can begin. The ridiculous part about this is that stores start putting out their holiday lines in October so if your kids wear a popular size you better be thinking ahead. Ok, now you know who is taking the picture and what everyone is wearing, but here is the hardest part…getting everyone to cooperate!

I am sure many of you moms are going through this torture over the next few weeks so let me share my Christmas card 2013 attempt with all of you. Before I start getting all sorts of complaints from dads, I chose to write moms because maybe there are one or two dads out there who break the mold and take the kids for the Christmas photos, but in MY experience, there is NO dad who wants to be anywhere near this unprecedented madness EVER!

This year I was going to have a friend who is a professional photographer take photos in our yard. Well that idea went down the toilet when I had to cancel the session because it had rained the night before and the grass was soaking wet. I know my kids would never have cooperated if their feet were soaking wet from the grass and we wouldn’t have gotten the photos that I wanted to get. My second attempt pictured above was yesterday. I thought I could take the bull by the horns and take the photos myself. I’ve done it before so why not? Here’s why not…apparently I bought my son “handsome” clothes instead of “cool” clothes and he refused to put them on. In a desperate attempt to move forward with my plan I decorated a tree with candy canes and figured I would at least get my daughter’s picture done since she was all dressed and loves getting her picture taken. I figured my son would get jealous and cave once he saw her getting all the attention and put the cute plaid shirt and sweater on, but boy was I wrong. What erupted was like a scene out of a Christmas horror show. While my daughter was standing on a chair smiling my son took one of my giant candy cane props and started chopping down the candy canes one by one out of the tree faster than I could grab him. Candy was flying all over the place, my daughter was wobbling in a chair in her Christmas dress, and all I was thinking was, don’t react like Clark Griswold when his lights don’t light up in Christmas Vacation!

Needless to say, we marched back in the house after picking up all of the broken candy canes and I am left with this fantastic picture that I share with all of you. Please keep it in mind when you are stressed to the max this Christmas season. As you receive your mail full of smiling faces each day remember a lot more goes into those cards than you think and don’t be too hard on yourself if your journey to whatever your PeRfEcT card is isn’t so PeRfEcT!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

I am Thankful Project

With my son in Kindergarten, I’ve been planning more projects that incorporate some writing and of course some messy art! With all the academics that need to get covered in the short school day kids don’t often get the chance to get down and dirty with paint anymore. This simple Indian Corn project kept my 4 and 6 year olds busy for about a half hour (just long enough for me to enjoy a cup of coffee!) and the writing piece will remain a special memory of what they were thankful for at this special time in their childhood.

If you are a teacher, this can be done as a whole class activity and it would make a fantastic bulletin board display! Click on this link to print my free THANKFUL FOR tags and get your creative juices flowing!

I cut out a corn shape out of cardstock and fabric and glued them together. You can just use cardstock, but I thought the fabric gave the project a rustic look!

I used burlap to make the dry corn leaves and attached the printable Thankful For cards!

Happy Painting & Memory Making!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Okay for ME, but NOT for YOU…

I am hard on my kids. Too hard, a lot of times, which always makes me regret it once I stop and think about how I’m treating them. Instead of choosing my battles, I decide to take on every battle! That is what SUPERMOM is all about, right? Keeping a tight leash on your kids and setting the bar super high? After some ReFleCtioN this week, maybe I should start looking for a new role model…

As Christians, we know how miserably we fail at numerous tasks and actions throughout our day, yet when we glance up at God we are reassured that He forgives and loves us no matter how much we are being a disappointment. It is so comforting to know that when I make mistakes, at least someone still has my back…because HE knows we are human and are far from pErfeCt.

Yet WHY do I hold my kids to a different standard? When they don’t do what I ask, or spill a cup FULL of pop on the floor, I repeatedly get on to them and ask why they didn’t listen or be more careful!! Not only that, but I bring it up AGAIN when their Dad comes home and maybe even AGAIN before they go to sleep, in hopes that I am getting my point across!

When I make the same exact mistakes (just in adult form!), does God TrEaT me like that? Never. I always feel Him looking at me in a calm way, his eyes telling me that I need to pick myself up and go on. I know I let Him down but I also know that once I acknowledge my weaknesses to Him, He moves on and doesn’t keep throwing it in my face. I really appreciate that about Him.

So why is it okay for me to fail God but not okay for others to fail me? As cHalleNgiNg as it will be, I am going to try to be as understanding and calm with my children as He is to me. Sure, I’ll still get on to them and discipline when needed, but then I need to let it go and hope they make a better decision next time. We know that kids won’t always do the right thing, but thankfully God doesn’t give up on us adults either! With every year I get under my belt, I can see I’m going to need all the help and forgiveness I can get!

-Lara