The Suede Sofa Blog

I Expect That from WHO?

Recently, we have been working with my daughter on trying to get her to stop sucking her thumb. She is using a thumb guard that is really helping, but like any bad habit, it has been hard for her.

The other day I told Robynn that my worst habit is eating late at night. It is like clockwork; as soon as I put the kids to bed I’m off to the kitchen searching for a sweet treat. Whether it was college or even my childhood, eating a dessert to end the day was very much the norm!

Then it dawned on me. Why do I expect Leanne to break a habit that she has had her entire life, yet I make an excuse for not breaking mine? Is it because hers is only 5 years of a bad habit and mine is 30? I guess the number of years shouldn’t matter, since for each of us it equates to be our ENTIRE lives!

I talked to Leanne and told her I was going to work on breaking my bad habit too. It has been challenging for both of us, but I know that we will benefit from it. Putting myself in her shoes also makes me more sympathetic towards what she is going through. Before, I would always get frustrated and lose patience when she wasn’t making progress. It wasn’t until I tried to stop my habit that I did a better job working with her. Not to mention, seeing her work hard helps me work even harder when I have moments of weakness!

Is there something you expect of others yet you don’t expect of yourself? Nothing probably comes to mind right away but some time and self-reflection may shed some light on bad habits we can improve in our own lives. Oh….it can be so humbling…but a good reminder to have the same expectations for yourself as you do for others!!

~LaRa

Set Up to Fail

This week my son and I started planting our seeds indoors so that when the weather warms up they will be strong enough to be transplanted outside. Once we had picked out our seeds we planted them in self-watering containers that we learned how to make on Pinterest. With the internet and Pinterest available for gardening tips and ideas it is easy to get started even if you have never grown a single thing before. For some reason as my son and I were working on our self watering containers, I had a flashback to my first year of teaching and a window box planter I painted with my class and attempted to grow flowers in. That was almost 15 years ago and I didn’t have “how to” information right at my fingertips. I didn’t even have a computer with the internet in my classroom at that time. I bought dirt, about 5 different kinds of seeds, and we started planting. I planted all of the seeds together in the windowbox one on top of the other and to my naivety thought they were going to grow into a beautiful garden for my class to enjoy. I didn’t check plant size, seed spacing, and I certainly didn’t know anything about starting seeds in starter pots and then transplanting them once they had matured.

One afternoon after the kids had been dismissed for the day I was watering the windowbox and a veteran teacher (and avid gardener) came in to see what I was doing. I showed her all of the seed packets and told her that I was planting a windowbox garden with the kids. I remember like it was yesterday her smile and words, “I’m sure it will be beautiful.” That was all she said and walked out of my classroom. Looking back, I realize she knew my garden was going to be a disaster and didn’t say anything to me about how to ReAlLy grow a garden. She had a wealth of knowledge and years of experience and made a conscious decision to leave me in the dark and LeT Me FaiL. It wouldn’t bother me so much if it was just me who was going to be disappointed, but I had 18 first graders who though they were growing a beautiful garden. I will never know why she didn’t offer to help, or why she even bothered coming into my classroom to see what I was doing in the first place. What I DO know is this…I will NEVER knowingly set someone up to fail.

This is a lesson I will pass on to my children in hopes that the little voice inside their head will say, “Do the right thing” when faced with an opportunity to help a friend or even a stranger. Life is hard enough when you know what you’re doing…having a little help when trying something new can only raise your chances at success.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

When You Know Your Family is Complete

I’ve had friends tell me “You’ll just know when you are finished wanting to have more babies.” It seemed some vague to me…you’ll just know. How will I know? Will the two kids I already have drive me to the point of insanity one day and the image of a newborn swaddled in a receiving blanket will no longer seem appealing to me? Or will I wake up one day and realize the indecisiveness over wanting a third child just isn’t there any more and I can finally get rid of all of the baby stuff that is piled to the ceiling in my basement? I’ve wondered this since the birth of my daughter for over 3 years and can finally say I understand the “You’ll just know” feeling.

This past month has been swamped with baby news. Friends have been giving birth left and right and pregnancy announcements have been popping up all over the place. All of this baby news of course made me think, “Maybe we should try for a 3rd.” I went back and forth with it in my head for days even though my husband had put the idea of a 3rd to rest long ago but I just couldn’t come to peace with it. Then it hit me, as I was daydreaming about the possibilities of expanding our family, the black cloud of postpartum depression loomed over me. I suffered from severe postpartum depression after the birth of both of my babies. (Click here to read my postpartum story, Baby Blues to Baby Bliss). It was to date the most difficult thing I have had to face. I started to feel the tightening in my chest and the ache in my heart. I thought of the two beautiful and healthy children that I was lucky enough to give birth to and how I would never want them to see me go through that nightmare again. At that moment I JuSt KnEw that I was done having babies and that my family was complete.

I am sure the “You just know” moment is different for every woman. Whether it is the decision to not have children at all, or to not add any more children to the family you already have. I suddenly feel a sense of peace knowing that my decision is made and will live each day loving my family of 4.

Please share your “I just knew” moments in the comments section!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Just A Little Heart Attack

I wanted to drop you a quick line pointing you toward an excellent video to watch this weekend. Cardiovascular disease impacts 1 in 3 Americans, and is the leading cause of death in the United States – killing more people than the next 5 most common causes combined.

Women’s symptoms of a heart attack are *VERY* different than those of men, and because they often can mimic fatigue or the common cold, many women don’t realize they are having a heart attack.

Now, for some of you, you may think this video is an exact replica of your LiFe each morning (that’s how I felt!) which is even more of a reason that you should watch this!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=t7wmPWTnDbE

Happy Friday,

Lara

Get Your Posse and Get Your {Exercise} Groove On!

If you read Robyn’s post The Weight Is On yesterday, you can probably relate. As spring approaches it is just natural to want to get in shape whether you have gained excess winter weight or you’re just feeling like you’ve been stuck inside for way too many months and are needing a ChAnGge oF sCeNeRy.

Sometimes it can be hard to get started when you see the long road ahead to reach your WeiGht-LoSs GoAl. Afterall, overcoming the inertia can be a difficult thing to do.

On Monday we had a little pep talk and we decided that we would overcome the inertia together. So we made a 2-MoNtH pAcT to exercise consistently from now to mid-May, basically, the beginning of summer. It is actually quite motivating when you look at it in the context of summer being right around the corner.

One thing that really motivated us in our new goal was this website from the National Institute Of Health that can help in your weight loss efforts. Here’s the link: http://bwsimulator.niddk.nih.gov/ . It allows you to put in your weight, goal weight, and a few other items. It will then tell you how many calories you need to consume each day to reach your goal. We played around on it and found it quite addictive.

(You do need to have Java installed on your computer. You can install a free version by going to www.java.com ) Here is what the simulator looks like:

Overwhelmed by the idea of tracking your calories? No worries! Check out this quick, easy and free calorie counting website: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ They also offer a free app for your phone!

So, if you’re like us and you need to overcome inertia, GeT yOuR PoSsE – a group of friends, an exercise group, your neighbors, or family members and get your exercise groove on. After all, there’s only about 60 days until summer!

Lara, Robyn, & Robynn

The Weight is On

As we are approaching the warm weather I once again find myself having to deal with the excess weight that I have put on over the winter. Every year I say I am not going to gain weight during the winter, and every year I find myself in the same predicament. Last summer I reached my lowest weight since having my kids. I was so proud of my achievement, but did that stop me from over indulging during the month-long Christmas festivities…NO! Then once Christmas came and went there was New Years, the Super Bowl, and I can’t forget to mention my new obsession with Golden Oreos. I watched the numbers on the scale creep up until yesterday I realized I had put on a full 15 pounds since the summer and am once again miserable with what I see in the mirror when the clothes come off.

I decided to take out my camera phone and take 3 pictures of myself…front, back, and side views in my bathing suit. What I saw in the pictures was even worse than the image that had been staring at me in the mirror. As I said in a past weight loss post (Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It), to many friends and family members it may not seem like I need to lost weight, but I know that I can do better. Weight loss isn’t about how you look compared to other people, it is about how you feel about yourself.

Using my pictures as a starting off point, I am excited to get my butt in gear and start working towards the Robyn that I know I can be! With today being the first day of spring…NOW is as good a time as any to change the eating habits that have crept up through the cold. Any readers who can relate…GET OUT YOUR CAMERAS and let’s go!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Italian Knots with an Easter Twist

Every Christmas and Easter my Grandmother would make batches and batches of her Italian Knots. They have always been my favorite cookie and I am so glad that she taught be how to make them. This year I am adding a twist to the traditional knot cookie and shaping the dough into the shape of a bunny!

Click here to see my original post on how to make traditional knots.

Recipe:

4 cups flour

1 cup sugar

4 eggs

½ lb. butter (2 sticks)

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

5 teaspoons baking powder

pinch of salt

Dough:

Melt butter, add sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking powder, and salt…slowly add flour. Chill dough in refrigerator for an hour. Form knots or bunnies and bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes.

Icing:

Mix confectioner’s sugar, a drop of vanilla, and warm water until you get the consistency you want (I like my icing on this thick side). Dip tops of cookies into icing and add sprinkles! EnJoY!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

I Lost My Kids in Disney World

It has taken me months to start this post because of sheer embarrassment, but if my story can provide insight to someone else…then it is worth sharing. Last summer we went to Disney World for a family vacation. My sister had planned the trip from wake-ups to bedtimes and we had the time of our lives. That would be minus the 15 minutes of terror when I realized I had lost my two kids in the park.

My husband had taken the kids on the train-ride around Magic Kingdom and I was shopping on Main Street. We were planning to meet at the train stop at the front of the park and continue our day. When the three of them got to the train stop my husband realized he had left our empty stroller at one of the other train stops and was staying on the train to go back to get it. The kids came off the train and started walking down the ramp that they thought was going to bring them to me. As I watched them exit the train I realized that the train exit ramp and the platform I was standing on did not meet in the same location. Before I could yell to them they were gone. I ran down a set of stairs hoping it would end where the kids came off the ramp, but the ramp was nowhere in sight and neither were Nicholas and Abby. I ran around like a maniac trying to find them, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I found a young “cast member” (that is what they call the people who work in Disney) and told him I lost my kids. He didn’t really seem to jump with any urgency and I immediately knew I needed to find someone else to help me. The next cast member that I found was a woman who immediately sprung into action. She got on a radio and asked me what the kids looked like. She assured me that the kids would be found and that they would not get out of the park. Like a scene out of a movie I watched all of the cast members leap into action…as I kept saying “My son is 5 and my daughter is 3, they are blonde as blonde can be, she is wearing a red and white polka dot dress and he is wearing and black and red Mickey Mouse shirt.” My heart raced as I cried picturing how scared my babies must have been. The woman kept me calm by telling me that she lost her own son in the park a little over a week ago and that an undercover cast member had found him. I wish I had gotten her name…she knew how it felt to be a mom who was missing her greatest blessing and hugged me as we watched the scene unfold and wait for what seemed like an eternity. After about 15 minutes I heard a voice say, “We’ve got them.” I looked at the top of the train platform and ran to the steps to see my scared little ones walking toward me. They were holding hands and Nicholas (my mamma’s boy) was crying. I hugged them and never wanted to let go.

I am beyond grateful to the cast members who went above and beyond to find my kids and keep me calm. I wish I could have thanked them all, but the moment was so overwhelming that by the time I got it together everything had gone back to normal in The Magic Kingdom and they were all scattered about doing their jobs.

When I look back on this I really can’t BlAmE this on anyone. There was no way any of us could have known that the ramp and stairs didn’t meet up. It wasn’t like my kids had wondered off and weren’t paying attention…they thought they were walking and meeting me after getting off the train. What I did learn is that there are things I could have done PriOr to this incident that could have made finding them a little easier.

Before our trip we had purchased tattoos for the kids arms that said, “If lost call XXX-XXX-XXXX.” Did I have the tattoos on the kids arms that day? NO! What good were they doing in our hotel room?!!! My husband and I also realized we had never had a discussion with the kids telling them what to do if they got lost. We should have pointed out what cast members look like and told them to find one if they were lost. Someone else gave me a great suggestion to take a picture of my kids each morning on my phone so that if they are lost you can see exactly what they are wearing in case you forget and you can show the picture to anyone who is helping to find them. I also found a great idea on Pinterest where you make a bracelet with your phone number on it so that if they are lost someone can call you. Bottom line…if you ever get into the situation that I was in act fast and find someone who you feel can help you.

I hope you never find yourself in this predicament, but just in case here are some ideas to help others get your kids back to you safely.

Take a Picture of Your

Kids Each Morning

Cell Phone Bracelet

If Lost Tattoo

Website for Safety Tattoo

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

What’s On Your Mind?

What is the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep? Or when you have a lot of road time, what do you spend most of your time thinking about?

The reason I ask is because what people spend time and energy thinking about is usually what they are most passionate about. Yes, we can get consumed about “life” issues that take up a lot of our thoughts (worrying about kids, replaying embarrassing moments in our head). But with those things aside, what is usually on your mind? Are you aNxiOusLy brainstorming a new meal to cook that night? Envisioning the next vacation you want to take? Predicting how the sports season is going to turn out?

The cool thing about this question is that your answer may vary from year to year or even month to month. Want to know the most current thing “on my mind” these days? Interior design. I LOVE colors and furniture. I love changing the way a room looks and turning something junkie into something pretty. I can spend hours faNtiCiziNg about ways I could transform a space and can get lost in textures and fabrics.

Discover your hidden obsession by taking note of where your mind spends its time. Next, do something about it. I’m not saying you need to switch careers, but if you are only thinking of this great thing, why not take the first step and actually put it into practice. For me, it would be easy to find an excuse such as not having the funds or time to transform my house in the ways I’ve envisioned. BUT, in the meantime I can still get excited over small projects that don’t cost much and allow me to enjoy transforming a space or furniture piece.

If you can slowly act on these thoughts, you may find that they will become more and more of a reality. Five to six years ago I would daydream a lot about being my own boss. To my surprise, it soon became true and I’ve been living that dream for over 4 years. It didn’t happen overnight, but by actually applying some things on my mind, I ended up discovering new ways to make it happen.

Your passions may just be hobbies. They may turn into a career. They may be something that will make you money when you retire. You will never really know how they end up, but I can tell you one thing…they will always just be a dream if you don’t do anything more than that. And what fun is that when you could be LiViNg iT?!

Happy Dreaming ;)

Lara