From the Confessional: Eating, Weight and Self-Image

Have you ever found that no matter what “wEiGht” you are, you find yourself either struggling with food, unsatisfied with some area of your body, or feel overwhelmed with pressure to stay skinny after you lost weight (especially if people noticed and made a big deal about it!)?

The more women I talk to, the more I realize that no matter what size you are, women struggle when it comes to PeAcE with FoOd, the number on the scale, and body image. Most women believe that if you look thin (or you’ve maintained your healthy BMI weight), that those women are automatically happy, never struggle with food temptation, and rarely step on the scale because looking like that comes easy. Let me tell you, this is not true.

Growing up I didn’t struggle with weight as much as I struggled with my self-image. I was a chubby kid in junior high and after hitting a growth spurt in high school, staying thin didn’t take much eFFoRt. Looking back though, I was never satisfied with my body…how sad when I look back at pictures of myself!

It wasn’t until I became pregnant with my first child that I was truly huMbLed when it came to weight. I gained over 60 lbs and looked so different that some people didn’t even recognize me. I remember coming home from the hospital thinking, “This is it. I will no longer be able to wear skinny jeans.” I believed it so much that I gave 5 trash bags full of clothes to goodwill within the first couple months of being a new mom! Fast forward 4 years and another kiddo…I wish I wouldn’t have given up on myself so easy! I was able to eventually lose the weight and could have enJoyEd some of those favorite outfits again.

Even though I am at my lowest weight since college, I still struggle with PeAcE wiTh FoOd. I LOVE sweets and have a hard time eating in moderation at times. When I let my guard down I eat too much and then feel horrible the next day.  Often times I “throw in the towel” and eat poorly for a week or so and then have to finally snap out of it. It becomes a vicious cycle of giving in, feeling bad, giving myself a pep-talk to start eating right and exercising, etc. So don’t be fooled! Even though I may look and feel bEttEr than I have in years, I have to talk to myself daily in order to maintain my current weight.

We are going to be talking a lot more about this topic on the Suede Sofa because we have had so many women share such similar thoughts regarding weight and food. You are probably telling yourself that no one feels the same way you do, but I can assure you most women have been where you are right now.

I look forward to sharing more of my story and thoughts with you. No life is as pErfeCt as it appears on the outside so give yourself a break and stop comparing yourself to every woman you pass on the street. If only you could visit with them for a second and realize that you both feel the SAME way, regardless if you look completely different! As you read more of our stories I think you will find great comfort in knowing that no matter where you are in your PeAce with FoOd journey, you are not alone.

If you agree or liked this post, do us a favor today and click “like” on the facebook link below or comment under this post.  Use a screen name if you don’t want your real name exposed.   Sharing our personal stories on this subject is not easy.  By responding to this post we will be reAssuRed that you want to hear more about our experiences on PeAce WitH Food.

Thanks for Reading!

~Lara

{Peace With Food}

This past April, on the Suede Sofa, Lara and I began a 6-month challenge encouraging our readers to pursue a dream or a goal.  My PeRsOnaL ChAllEnGe was to have PeAcE WiTh FoOd.  I’ll have to admit, although the challenge ended October 1st, I’m still working on that.  In fact, this has been a work in progress for um…. well over 25 years.

I first gained excess weight when I was a sophomore in high school.  During the following summer I joined WeiGhT WaTcHeRs and lost all the weight I had gained.  Because I was an athlete it wasn’t too difficult keeping it off.

Then came college.  I gained the “FrEsHmEn 15” plus some.  Having the freedom to eat whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted, those pounds didn’t come off fast or easy.  The rest of my college years I saw my weight go up and down.  Mostly up.  By the time I got married, 10-plus years after college graduation, I had managed to get back to my HiGh ScHooL WeiGhT.  What a relief!

Then came children.  The scale went up once again.  Over 50 pounds.  But after my 2nd child was born I decided to GeT SeRioUs about losing the weight.  I was tired of all the fluctuations and wanted to establish life-long habits that would sustain the loss.

So, in April of 2009, after having a “CoMe To JeSuS” talk with myself I decided I would do whatever it took.  I had actually begged myself, in the “SpiRiT oF ExPeriMenTatiOn”, to try eating really healthy (lots of fruits and vegetables) and eliminate (for the most part) all junk food for just three months.  Along with eating healthy I wanted to exercise a lot, which wasn’t that big of a deal as it had already been part of my lifestyle.  So the decision was made.  I would live with ReCkLeSs AbAndOn and find out once and for all if this would “work” for me.  Well, three months later, I was 25 pounds lighter, so I guess the answer would be “Yes”.

MaYbe.

If you are looking only at the numbers then the answer would be “Yes”, but if you looked at what was going on InTerNaLLy, the answer would be “No”.  Even though I reached my goal exactly by the date I had set, I wasn’t happy, nor at peace.  Immediately after hitting my goal of my all-time low I began to gain weight.  Over the next six months I gained about 13 pounds.  So once again I decided to go on a strict diet and lose the unwanted weight.

TaKe TwO:

This time around I TrAcKed My ProGreSs very closely.   I included everything from what caused my “mess-ups”, the time of the day I messed up, what was going on internally, etc.  The information was invaluable and as a result I have written about all my lessons in a book I hope to get published sometime soon.

On this second try I worked out even harder and lost even more than I had the first time around.  But due to an All-Or-NoThiNg mindset when I failed to reach my goal on the date I had set (I was only four pounds away) I threw my hands up and totally lost control for about a month which resulted in me gaining much of the weight back.

TaKe ThReE.

I’m on my third take, but this time is different.  I have a NeW oBjeCtiVe.  It is not a number on a scale or a number (a.k.a. a certain size) on the tag of a piece of clothing.  No more QuiCk FiXeS.  No more CraZy DiEts.  No more excessive workouts just to lose a pound or two.  No more being fixated on food whether that is dreaming of what I am going to eat, or being obsessed with eating only a certain kind or amount of food and staying within those strict limitations.

Instead it is…

PeAcE.

WiTh.

FoOd.

Plain and simple.  And the contentment that comes with knowing that FoOd DoeSn’t RuLe My LiFe.

I’ll be sharing with you the LeSsoNs I have learned.  They have worked for me.  Maybe some will speak to you.  Others you may find obsolete.  Take what works and leave the rest behind.

If you find yourself on this journey I pray you FiNd HoPe and then the CouRaGe to take the steps to get to FrEeDoM and PeAcE WiTh FoOd.

:)

Robynn~

From Pastor D.J.’s Playbook {Play #34 – Go Deep}

Wish you could help others but feel OvErWheLmEd because the need is so great?  Instead of throwing your hands up and saying, “WhAt’s tHe PoiNt?”  why not help one person and make a DiFfeRenCe in one life?

:)

Robynn~

{GRATITUDE PARTY}

It is so EaSy to get caught up in every thing that is going “WrOnG” in our life that we can ToTallY miss ALL the good things that have happened to us.  If you’re in the habit of attending PiTy PaRtiEs for yourself, why not try having a GrAtiTuDe PaRty and CouNt all the BleSsInGs you have in your life.  Maybe you are struggling financially, but do you have your health or people you LoVe?  Maybe your issues are health ones, but do you have trusted FrIenDs or FaiTh In GoD?

One of the ItEmS on my “LiVe It” list is to list 100 GoOd THinGs that have happened in my LiFe.  I hope to keep it handy for those days when things just don’t seem to go my way. 

Is it time for you to make your LiSt?

;)

Robynn~

WE ARE…LIVING OUR DREAM!! {DOWNTOWN SWEET & SANDWICH SHOP}

JaNiCe, mother of four always loved to bake. She was constantly baking cakes & cookies, as well as other goodies.   In fact, her SuGaR CoOkiEs were so popular that people had standing orders for these delicious treats.   It wasn’t uncommon for Janice and her crew to make 100 dozen cookies on the holidays.   The whole FaMiLy assisted in the project in assembly-line fashion.  Even DaD helped frost the cookies.

While Janice was the one who loved to bake, daughter, LiSa, was the one with an entrepreneurial bent. She worked in the restaurant industry and had a DeSiRe to have her own restaurant where she could call the shots. When a storefront on Main Street with a kitchen came available, she talked her mom and sister GaiL into taking the plunge. The three opened up DoWnToWn SwEetS aNd SaNdWiCh ShOp.  From time to time when sister HeiDi, an O.R. nurse, isn’t working you may see her helping out.  And brother ClaY, well, his role is taste tester!

Downtown Sweets and Sandwich Shop sells homemade goodies such as cakes, cookies and CuPCaKeS, and they also serve lunch. Their hours are: 11:00a.m. – 5:30p.m. Monday – Friday.  You can also check them out on Facebook.

 

Can You Relate?

I sat down to clean my indox this week.  After reading some recent emails Robynn and I had written to one another, I wondered if you might be able to eMpaThiZe with some of our topics of conversation:

Robynn: “I’m procrastinating this morning. For the past several months I feel like I get into a (small) funk every Sunday morning. I find myself not wanting to go to church. I always say to Scott, “Can I use my “freebee” voucher today for a “free” Sunday. (I do plan on using that this winter sometime when the weather is cruddy, but you can’t use that on a perfectly good Sunday.) Anyway, I’m subjecting my “don’t want to go” feelings to my priorities and I know that today as always I will walk out of church glad I went. But until then….

I look forward to hearing all about your weekend. Mine was busier than I had hoped for it to be (which is one of the reasons I think Sundays I want to stay home) but I did finish my room and can’t wait for you to see the “make-over” on Wed. (Or maybe sooner.)

Well, better finish getting ready for church.”

Lara: “Thanks R. I appreciate the feedback on my post b/c I always seem to doubt what I am writing and if it is being too repetitive. BUT, like we said, we need to not over think what we are doing. That is what was on my heart yesterday, so that’s what I wrote about!

(Our dog) Grace is still missing. We are really sad and miss her so much but trying to stay positive that someone will find her and call us soon. Pretty stressful day yesterday with a flat tire first thing in the morning, Grace missing, and oh…Garrett choked on a grape at lunch and I had to call 911. It was so scary.

Ready to start a new day today. Glad God is by my side. Thank goodness for my faith to get me through the rougher days…and rejoice with me in the good ones!”

P.S. Someone found Grace!  The tire got fixed!  Garrett survived the choking episode and Robynn was glad she mustered up the energy to go to church!  And life goes on…

~L

Thank God For All I’ve Missed

As I look forward to CeLeBrAtiNg my 9th wedding anniversary next week I ThAnK GoD for every step and misstep that led me to the life that I live ToDaY.  My husband and I met on a Friday the 13th 10 years ago.  It was a CoMpLeTe ChAnCe MeEtiNg and I truly believe that we were DeStiNeD to be together.  Over the years I’ve thought about how lucky we are and I try my best not to take a second of it for granted.  We have TwO BeAuTifuL ChiLdrEn, a house that we love, wonderful memories, and hope for an ExCitiNg FuTurE. 

While driving the other day I heard the Darius Rucker song titled, This.  The lyrics talk about all of the events that happen in life that lead you to where you are right now.  “Thank God for all I’ve missed ‘cause it led me here to this,” is a lesson that I think so many people can learn from.  Too many times we get stuck in the mentality that when things don’t work out the way we plan we have failed.  Maybe they aren’t failures, but just StEpPiNg StOnEs to the life that we were meant to live.

~Jersey Girl~

I Love You Anyway

This past week the phrase “I Love You Anyway” became a popular saying in our house.  I did something that I knew disappointed my husband.  Feeling terrible after I saw the let down on his face I asked, “But you love me anyway, right?”  He replied, “Of CouRse.”

Then a few days later, my daughter broke one of my favorite Christmas ornaments.  Initially I gasped, but after seeing how terrible she felt I said, “Leanne…it is oKaY.  Accidents happen.  I LoVe you anyway.”

I am so gRateFul for the people in my life that will love me anyway…no matter if I ruin their favorite shirt…cancel on a play-date because I’m feeling overwhelmed as a Mom…or call them to vent and never ask them how their day is going.

Everyone needs someone in their life that will show unconditional loVe whether it be a friend, family member, spouse or pet (and of course Jesus!  Can I get an “Amen?!”).  Maybe it is time to return the favor and show someone you love them back, even though they hurt you recently or did something that bothered you.  Remember how great it feels to be loved “anyway”, and give it to another in return.

P.S. These roses were a “surprise” from Doug and Leanne after church on Sunday.  Just another reminder that I am LoVed AnYwAy!  Now it’s time for me to pass it on….

~Lara