Gift Giving

Believe it or not, this is one that I sTruggLe with.  Birthdays, surgeries, baby arrivals and house warming gifts are just some of the few events that leave me defeated due to lack of creative ideas and planning ahead for special moments.

Before I continue with my point, it might be helpful to share some of my history.    Growing up, my family didn’t CeleBraTe birthdays with gifts.  Don’t get me wrong, I have extremely fond memories of birthdays…Mom made our favorite meal, we got a custom decorated Dairy Queen ice cream cake and we ended the night watching a movie as a family.  BUT, we never had the big piles of presents…in fact, it was very rare that we associated gifts with birthdays.  I knew other kids who did that, but I never thought anything of it because I felt my birthday was special and uNiqUe the way we celebrated it.

Because I didn’t grow up getting many gifts I think that is why I have a hard time buying gifts for others.  Now that I am older, it seems more challenging because everyone around me seems so thoughtful and I find that people give gifts for almost any and every occasion!  In some ways I have learned to be better about gift giving.  I try to have a basket of goodies on hand that I can wrap up in a pinch and give to someone as the occasion arises.  Robynn gave me some great aDviCe—buy people things that they can consume (candles or a specialty food item) that way if they don’t like it they aren’t obligated to keep it around.  This was helpful because just trying to think of what to give always served as an extra road block.

More importantly, give from the HEART.  Anymore, if I don’t have time to make a trip to town I just tuck some money in a card and put a cute piece of paper around it saying “This $ is only to be spent at Dairy Queen for your Birthday”.  Even though it isn’t an official gift card, it’s the thought that counts.  In the end, isn’t that what gift giving is all about?

~Lara

Pay it Forward: It’s Your Turn!

In my recent Pay it Forward post I shared a story of a random act of kindness my sister had done on our recent Disney trip.  As we prepare to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving, what better time to think about ways we can Pay it Forward to those around us?  Whether you help a family member with a rent payment one month or put money in a parking meter for an unknowing stranger…you are PaYiNg it FoRwArD.  We will be collecting Pay it Forward stories from our readers between now and Monday, November 19th.  These stories will be compiled into a special post for Thanksgiving to share with our readers.

Please email your stories to suedesofa@yahoo.com

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

{Just Decide}

Why do I let inconsequential choices zap so much of my mental energy?  For the last year I have been trying to come up with a filing system for my 1st grader and preschooler’s work they bring home from school.  I’ve been walking past piles and piles of their work for the last year not knowing what to do with it.  Do I keep all of it or only the best ones?  If I only keep some of it, which ones?
I found these cute file folders at Walmart for 50 cents! They will be perfect for helping me organize my girls’ homework.

Have you ever been stuck in the realm of indecisiveness?  You have so many choices that you can’t decide on that you don’t decide at all?  I know I find myself in this predicament in other areas besides my girls’ homework.  All I need to do to free myself from this decision hanging over my head is make a choice.  Yes, sometimes there are many possible choices that would work, but after you have considered all the options sometimes you just have to decide so you can finally move beyond it and get to more important things!

Do you have something that needs to be completed?  Are you experiencing paralysis by analysis?  What are you waiting for?  Just decide!

:) Robynn

The Financial Lifesavor

A few years ago I did something that iMpRoVed our financial stress.  In addition to tracking our monthly expenses, I made a simple spreadsheet that estimates what our bank account will look like in six months.

Whenever I log our monthly expenses, I also update this 6-month sheet (to see an example, click 6-Month Spreadsheet).  At the top, I enter our most current bank account total.  Below, I have the pRojEcTed expenses and income for each month.  You should have a pretty good idea on how much you spend if you already keep track of your monthly expenses.  If not, now would be a good time to start!  If your income varies due to sales or farming, etc. you need to enter in a realistic number to ensure your 6-month projection is as accurate as possible and doesn’t give you false hope. 

One reason this concept comes in handy is because it anticipates yearly bills.  Propane refills are already estimated in the months of October and January, so when the time comes there is no big SuRpriSeS.  By taking into account all of your known expenses you won’t have to worry (and stress!) about moving money around to accommodate.

I especially like the 6-month forecast when I want to make larger purchases.  If you’re itching to buy new carpet, you enter in the total and instantly have a good I D E A how much it will affect your finances in the long term.  For example, you may get a bonus at work and see an immediate increase in your bank account.  You go out and spend it all (and maybe a little more), and then two months later you are panicked because you forgot your vehicle tags and taxes were due.  See how this could have been avoided?

As far as financial surprises, like if our car breaks down, I don’t estimate for that.  You will find that if you do the 6-month spreadsheet you won’t be likely to spread your bank account too thin.  Pick a number that will give you a nice CusHioN for emergencies.  As long as you stay above your goal you can avoid roller coaster financial stress and feel more confident in the purchases that you make!

~Lara

Girlfriend Therapy

Do you ever feel like everyone in your family is talking to you and asking for things, but you never get your turn to speak?  “Mom, I want Cheerios with a cup of milk please.”  “Mom, that’s not the brush I like on my hair…you’re hurting me!”  “Robyn, the kids are out of vitamins, can you call the pharmacy today to  renew the prescriptions?”  ON and ON and ON…ALL day LONG!!!  If any of this sounds familiar, I’m right there with you!

When is it OuR turn???

Now that both of my kids are in nursery school, I have 3 mornings each week when they are both in school at the same time.  I have decided to use some of this time to catch up with my GiRlFrIeNds and have some me time!  Sure there is laundry waiting and toys that need to be cleaned up, but coffee and laughter with my best friends is just the escape that this MoMmY needs once in a while!

Try it…it is the cheapest therapy around!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

All The Grace You Need

Have you ever tried to copy someone who was having great results but when you tried to duplicate their success you utterly failed?  Although their methods worked for them it did not work for you?  We all have probably been there at one point or another.  It is easy to think that just because something works for someone else it will work for us.

But one lesson I’ve learned is this:

God does not give us grace for someone’s situation and circumstances.  He gives us grace for our situation and circumstances.

This is the King Saul and David principle.  In the well-known Bible story of David and Goliath, before David went to face the giant he was brought before King Saul.  When King Saul saw that David was willing to fight Goliath, he was thrilled.  For forty days this giant had been taunting King Saul and his army to come fight him.  No one was willing to take Goliath up on the challenge except for David.  Immediately King Saul gave David his armour for the battle and when David put it on, he could barely move in it.  So David cast aside this fancy weaponry and used what he knew best – his sling and 5 small, smooth stones.  Turns out that 5 in the Bible is a symbolic number for GrAcE.  God’s grace (favor) in this situation was using David’s wit and skill to defeat a giant with only a sling and stones.

Where do you need grace in your life?  Your marriage?  Parenting?  Your personal life?  On the job?  In relationships?   Is it time to stop trying to do things like everyone and just ask God for His help?  He has tailor-made grace for your very situation.  All the grace you need.

:) Robynn

Did We Make The Right Decision?

It is hard to believe we have been in our new location for about 4 months now.  Time has flown and we have savored every second of being here!  Still no regrets!

The last time I posted about this, I showed you a picture of what the front of our house looked like right after the mOvE.

Since that time, we had the front addition built back on!  We L O V E it!

I will paint the house in the spring (hopefully!) and when we re-roof the house (someday) we’ll move the pipes and attic fans to the other side to make things a little prettier :)  We will also extend our garage and make a porch that connects the garage and new addition .  Of course, lots of pRojeCts here and there, but nothing that can’t get accomplished in a lifetime (and if you know me well…you know that I LOVE a GoOd project)!  What a trooper of a husband I have :)

After reflecting on our crazy 6-month experience, I want to eNcouRaGe you to make steps in your life that YOU feel are right.  If we would have listened to some people, we may not have moved our home.  We would have made poor financial decisions because we felt the pressure of others.  We would have missed out on the fAiTh journey we experienced during the moving process.  I’m not saying that is was always easy, but when you feel confident in your gut, you’ll sleep better at night…regardless of what everyone else is thinks.

If you are considering making some big life decisions, don’t be distracted by the rest of the world.  Team up with God and the other person you are making the decision with, and you’ll be able to enjoy living life the way you want.  After all, it is YOUR life to live!

If you have missed my other posts leading up to this point read Why Move A House? , Demo Work , Moving Day and Moving Our House!

~Lara

Too Many Treats?

With Halloween right around the corner I am already dreading the sugar high aftermath.  I always sort through the treats that my kids get on Halloween and leave some for them, stash some for me, but I always end up with tons left over.  I recently found this clipping in a magazine and immediately thought about all of the left over candy that I always end up throwing away.  This year I can box it up and know that some VeRy deserving HeRoEs will enjoy a little piece of my children’s HaLlOwEeN while fighting to keep our freedom.  

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Live-It List Lesson

Last year at this time The Suede Sofa began talking about the “Live-It List” – which is sort of like a bucket list, but with the emphasis on living rather than on dying.  Well, 2012 is coming to a close and I’ve been working on my “Live-It List” all year long.  In January, I started out with a lengthy list of things that I thought were important.  Although it felt great to get those items checked off my list, the one thing that my “Live-It List” revealed to me was what is important and worth pursuing and what things are really, well, just a distraction.   My list contained “good” things be sure, but good things can steal your focus from the best things.  So in 2013 I am going to do things different from what I have ever done before and just pick one.  The best one.

Are you focused and going after only the best, or are you like I was in 2012 – all over the place and although accomplishing a lot of things, not really accomplishing anything really significant?   This may come as a relief to know that you can streamline your life and eliminate activities that don’t serve your best interests.

What is your purpose?  What deserves your focus and attention?  Could 2013 be your year to “Pick One”?

:) Robynn

Saved By The Bell

Growing up with all sisters, I never knew what it was like to grow up around boys.  When we were bLesSeD with a baby boy over 2 years ago, our world changed forever.  I immediately learned how different (but good) life would be with a boy!

One of the main differences between Garrett and sister, Leanne, is that Garrett has little to no fear.  When that kid decides he wants something, he heads that diRecTion and never looks back.  Because we live in the country, with plenty of land to run around on, you can see how this poses a major problem.  The second we would turn around our little boy would be off eXploRinG, leaving us in a panic not knowing where to look.

Due to a few of these scares we took away his freedom when he went outside.  His FaVoRitE thing to do is to play outdoors, so you can only imagine the tantrums this created when he wanted to go and we didn’t have the time to take him.

My father-in-law happened to pick up a small cow bell at an auction.  We joked about how we should attach it to Garrett since he always runs off.  One morning, after another 2-year-old meltdown, I was desperate for him to have an atTitUde change.  I grabbed the bell, tied it to his pants, opened the windows and let him loose to play in the front yard.

Let me tell you….that bell changed EVERYTHING!

Garrett gets to play in the dirt as much as he wants, and I am always an earshot away.  I can get work done in the house and this gives him a break from me, in a way that I can know where he is at.  We’ve been doing this for several weeks now and Garrett’s temperament has changed drastically.  Now that he is able to release his eNerGy by playing outside, he is much happier and less likely to throw tantrums.  It is really cute too…every time he grabs his shoes, he always grabs his bell!  He knows he can’t go outside without it!

Who would have thought we’d be saved by a bell? If you are at at the end of your rope, I encourage you to talk to as many other people as you can AND exhaust all options. It may be as sImpLe as getting a cow bell…

Ring-a-ling! :)

Lara