Lesson Learned: Enjoy Occasional Trips w/out Your Kids

(Written this past February)

Greetings from Hawaii!  I am writing this as I sit on our hotel balcony, overlooking the ocean.  I was lucky enough to be able to tag along with Doug since he had a conference here for a week!

We wrestled with the thought of taking our kids on this trip.  We have missed them so much but I can ConFideNtly say I am glad we went on this trip alone.  I am amazed with the depth of our conversations simply because we had time to THINK.  No distractions. No diapers to change.  Just us, having conversations that can last longer than 60 second because there is no one around to interrupt!

I won’t lie.  I had anxiety about taking this trip.  Being a Mom (and a bit of a worrier), you can only image the type of concoctions that I came up with on why I needed to stay home with the kids.  I can’t tell you enough how GooD this time has away has been for our marriage and for our spiritual life.

We all need time for ourselves and with our spouse.  If I’m at home I come up with a million things I have to do.  Forcing myself to be away from cleaning a house and taking care of the kids allows me to clear my thoughts and become Re-eNerGized.

Has it been a while since you have stepped away from your normal routine and environment?  You don’t need Hawaii to eScaPe.  Be creative, but most importantly, don’t talk yourself out of it!

~Lara

Full Circle Moment

You never know when something profound is going to hit you, but as I sat in my kitchen wasting time on Amazon.com waiting for my husband and son to wake up on a Sunday morning I was struck as I searched the words, “You Are My Sunshine.”

A few weeks ago when I was going in for a mammogram to check the group of lumps I had found for breast cancer (click to see my story) I taught my kids the song, You Are My Sunshine.  We would sit together and sing it as I fought back tears praying that my test would show that I would be OK.  As many of you know I am fine, but the song has stuck with my kids.  We sing it all the time!  I even bought the book, You Are My Sunshine for my son and he points to each word on the page and proudly reads the lyrics while my daughter dances around us.  It has become very meaningful to me and I am always searching for new books, prints, signs, etc. for our home or their rooms.

While searching Amazon I came across a musical pull toy for a baby that had a big sun on it.  I immediately remembered that I had purchased that same toy to hang on my bedpost when I was at my lowest point while trying to conceive my first baby.  My husband and I went through over 2 years of infertility before conceiving our son after 3 rounds of IVF.  The sunshine baby toy stayed on my bedpost and I refused to take it off until I brought our son Nicholas home from the hospital.  Eventually I moved the toy to the middle of the headboard and both my son and daughter both played with it as babies and it brought me great JoY to know that something that I bought at one of the lowest points in my life was now being used by my little MiRaClEs.  As I continued to look at the Amazon listing for this toy that I still have in my room even though my kids no longer play with it, I noticed that the song it plays is…YoU ArE My SuNsHiNe.

Life doesn’t get any sweeter than that!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

Weight Loss: What Works For You?

It’s that time of year…people start panicking about losing weight before they hit the beach.  With the swimsuit season quickly approaching, what works best for you to KiCk those last few pounds?

I’ve been debating this answer all week.  Is it going through the cupboards and throwing out all of the junk food?  Is it giving up pop?  Fasting for a day or two?  Running a mile a day?  Starting a new diet?

Source

I finally got my answer last night:  Wear clothing that makes me feel skinny.  When I wear my “skinny clothes” I eat well.  If I wear an oversized t-shirt and mesh shorts I might as well be holding a bag of Oreos, because that is what I will turn to after I look in the mirror!  To be honest, I only found one or two outfits that made me feel GoOd.  Since I am limited on these outfits, I may only wear them in the evenings (when I struggle the most with eating) or, better yet, this may mean I need to go shopping! :)

I realize that my answer may be different from yours, which is just another point I want to make:  Every person has to come up with their own weight loss plan because every person has a different body and circumstance!  Don’t get frustrated because you are trying to follow the same plan as your co-worker or friend and the results are different.  If giving up sweets causes you overcompensate later then agree to eat (and enjoy) one cookie every day.  If you hate working out, maybe you need to decide to redo all of landscaping in your yard so you can burn calories while you are doing something you love.

Do whatever it takes to keep you on track.  YOU need to be the one that creates a weight loss plan that is tailored specifically for YOU.  Don’t feel like you have to follow someone else’s rigid plan!  Take bits and pieces of the weight loss resources available and customize a plan that works specifically for you.

Good luck!   (see our other Peace w/ Food posts here).

~Lara

{Inspector Mom & Dad}

“Children do not do what you expect, they do what you InSpEcT.”*

If you’re a parent you know that telling your kids to do something and thinking it will automatically get done correctly without any inspection on your part is unrealistic.  They’re kids after all, and kids will be kids!!  That’s why they need help from adults to TrAiN them in the way they should go.

I’m sure my kids won’t be happy about this, but I will be inspecting their behavior until the day they become adults.  Yes, that means I will be checking up on them from time to time even when they are teens.  Did they go to the movie they said they were going to?   Are they at the friend’s house they said they would be visiting?  etc.  It may seem like an annoyance to them – never knowing when Mom & Dad may show up to help keep them honest, but why would I trust them to undeveloped and vulnerable brains that have not yet matured in the areas of judgement, decision-making, and impulse control?  When that time comes will you remind me not to disappointed when they don’t show appreciation and gratitude?  (That will come 20 years down the road when they have teens of their own.)

For now, however, my inspection is limited to such things as checking up on their chores (did they clean their room, pick up their toys, put their clothes away, etc.) and following and obeying instructions.  And each task consists of very SpEciFic and age-specific directions.  (I am not saying I always do perfect here, but it’s what I aim for.)  For example, when I tell my girls to clean their room they know that means the bed is made, nothing is on the floor, and everything is put in its proper place.  Maybe your definition of a clean room is only that the bed is made or their toys are picked up.  (If that is even a task you want your kid to do.)  Just make sure kids know exactly what you are asking them to do and then inspect to see that it was done correctly.

I am not the authority on raising kids, but I am passing on a lesson I have learned.  I would love to hear your comments regarding this subject!  I have also included a link that can give you more info on the teenage brain.  Hope you all have a wonderful day!!  I’ll leave you with this last word of encouragement:

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

:)

Robynn

*This is a quote I heard from Willie George, pastor of Church On The Move in Tulsa.  Before he became a pastor he had been a leading authority on teaching kids about the Bible.  Not only did he teach kids, but he also wrote curriculum and distributed it around the world.

Click here if you want to learn more about the teenage brain.

Let’s Get Organized!

It’s that time of year when I am itching to get my house in oRdEr!  Below are some pictures I grabbed from pinterest to help me get started orGaniZing!!

Cool Way to Organize Ribbon and Thread
Great Way to Organize Kid Crafts!
Fabric covered cardboard boxes. Neat and inexpensive storage idea!
Use Cans and Magnets to Organize! This would be a cheap way to organize your fridge door!
Binder Clips to Organize Cords
Mason Jar Organization - cute!
Use Baskets to Organize!
Garage Organization: Create Recycle Bin Hangers
Transient item organization
Kitchen Sink Cabinet Organized w/ Tension Rod

Hope this helps get you movin’!  Happy Organizing!

~Lara

{Just Go Home}

Disillusioned with God?  Feel like he has let you down?

This reminds me of the little kid who decides he is fed up with Mom and Dad and is going to run away from home.  He packs his bags and heads out the door down the long driveway.  When he gets to the end of the driveway he pauses.  As he looks back at his house he begins to realize that home is the place where his toys are, his comfy bed is.  It’s where MaC & ChEeSe is served just the way he likes it, along with his favorite chocolate milk.  Home is where his mom’s warm embrace and dad’s strong protective arms are.  Turning back towards his house he decides to just go home.

Jesus’ disciples had a similar experience.  After a multitude of people left Jesus because they were offended by His teaching, Jesus asked his disciples if they were going to leave Him also.  Peter, made a profound statement, “To whom shall we go?  You have the WoRdS of LiFe.”  (John 6:67-68)  Regardless how uncomfortable life could be at times, what was the alternative?  Jesus had the words of life.

As Easter approaches maybe God seems distant and you don’t understand why life has turned out the way it has.  Maybe you have unanswered prayer.  I wish life never went this way, but unfortunately at times it does.  That’s why God’s given us FaiTh.  He knew we would need it in the dark nights, deep valleys and stormy blast.  The times where understanding eludes us, life doesn’t make sense, and we can’t see our way.  It’s in these times that more than ever we need to JuSt Go HoMe.

:)

Robynn~

To read similar posts click here.

Lazy Girls Workout

After New Years I cracked down and put a lot of time into meal planning and started working toward my weight watchers goal weight.  As I’ve said before (to see my weight loss post click here) it isn’t like I had a lot of weight to lose, but the 10 to 15 pounds that creep up on me when I don’t watch make me feel miserable.  A few weeks ago I reached my goal weight and was really excited until I realized that although I had reached goal, I hadn’t done one single thing to tone my body while I was losing the weight.  I’m not sure if I thought the stretched tummy from carrying two pregnancies was MaGiCaLlY going to go away with the weight loss or what, but I can assure you…when the clothes come off…it’s still there!

Here’s the GiAnT problem…I HaTe working out.  Walking, running, jogging, weight training, stretching, aerobics (do they even do that anymore?), kickboxing, yoga, stair-climbing, etc….I don’t want to do it!  Strike that, I don’t even want to think about doing it!  I realize that I could continue with my anti-exercise attitude and look good in my clothes, but bathing suit season is coming up and I would LoVe to look good in something other than the tankini with a skirt that I have been wearing since I had my son five years ago.

In comes The Lazy Girls Workout.  While searching Pinterest last night I came across a simple workout for BeGiNnErS.  It was the first time I thought…Wow, I might actually be able to do this!  I’m not making any promises and I’m starting out slow (3 or 4 days a week), but at least it is something!  If you are like me and just can’t get motivated to get moving, find something you think you can do in moderation and set a small goal for yourself.  Together we can get in shape!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

What Women Can Learn From Men

Doug and I woke up one morning and had a small disagreement before he went to work.  After he left, I spent the next hour FeeLiNg horrible in my responses to our conversation.  I felt insensitive and unsupportive.  No matter what I did to distract my thoughts I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and how gUiLty I felt.

Source

So…I sent him a text that SAID:  “Honey I am SO sorry about this morning.  I will try harder. Please forgive me.”

In the text back, HE SAID:  “Oh, what are you upset about?  Whatever happened, I already forgot about it.  Have a good day!”

Men.  Aren’t they amazing how quickly they “move on” after a fight and don’t consume their entire day analyzing arguments?  I have found that if I apologize quickly or improve my mood when conversations start off on the wrong foot, he is already way ahead of me!

I challenge you to try this!  When you get in an argument, be the “MAN” in the relationship.  Despite how difficult, improve your mood and MOVE ON.  If you do, most likely they will too.  Don’t waste endless hours replaying the fight in your mind and use that time doing better things with the ones you love.

~Lara

The Green-Eyed Monster Called Jealousy

Do you begrudge other’s SuCcEsSeS?  Do you secretly wish for others to fail?  If so,  jealousy may be an issue for you.

Jealousy stems from a mindset that believes there’s only a limited amount of success and good fortune and if someone finds success/good, it means your chances have decreased.    This is a scarcity mindset.  Contrast that with an AbUnDaNcE mindset – one that believes there is an endless supply of success/good to go around.

One thing I believe is that God is big enough to bless others and at the same time bless me.  And if for some reason someone finds good while I am waiting for my blessing I can rejoice with them knowing that my PaYdAy is coming.

If you struggle with jealousy, but want to develop an attitude that sincerely wishes good for others here’s something that might help.  Nothing seems to disarm the temptation of jealousy as much as celebrating others’ BleSsiNgs.  This can be a pat on the back, telling someone “Good job!”, or some other gesture to let others know that you are happy about their success.  When you do, you’re putting that green-eyed monster to bed and making way for GoOd to come to you!

:)

Robynn~

It’s Never Too Late

Well, we are over half way through Lent and I wish I could tell you that this year’s experience was the best one ever. Unfortunately I’ve struggled a bit this year, and to be honest, there is no good excuse why. I always have GOOD intentions throughout the day but life seems to be too big of a distraction to F O C U S on God. How sad is that!? It’s easy to feel guilty for not spending enough time with God and not giving Him the thanks He deserves, for my bLeSSinGs are plentiful. At this point it would be easy to pack it in this spring and try again this Christmas…

LUCKLY, God knows our hearts and if we are paying attention, he will give us the MoTiVaTiOn we need to keep going. Doug and I were reading our nightly “Word Among Us” meditations and the reading couldn’t have spoken more directly to me.

“…we can begin to experience God’s presence and grace as a tiny trickle that grows wider and deeper as we yield to it. As we wade more deeply into his life, we can experience God nourishing us and healing us…We will prosper in this river, for it promotes and supports every sort of life, even lives like ours! …Why not step into the river today? Ask Jesus to lead you. He will start you gently, in the shallow end, where the water is ankle deep. And every day he will take you one step further, bringing you into ever-deepening waters that can HEAL, empower, forgive, and restore you. Just follow his lead each day and soon enough, you’ll be swimming!”

No matter how fast Easter is approaching, it isn’t too late to start wading in the water. Come and join me at the river—

~Lara