Happy Father’s Day From Suede Sofa!!

The movie CoUrAgEoUs has really had an impact on Lara and I.  So much so, we are working our way through the book Courageous For Women together.  (Published by the writers of the movie. You can find a link to the book and movie at the end of this post.)  If you have not seen the movie and you asked me to sum it up in one sentence it would be:  Have the courage to do the right thing.

Although this movie focuses on fatherhood, having the ChArAcTeR to be courageous applies to all of us.

In what area do you need to step it up?  In your parenting?  In your marriage?  In your thought life?  In your diligence on the job?  In your faithfulness to others?  In your FaiThFuLnEsS to God?
I love this song from the movie and would like to DeDiCaTe it to all the fathers in my life – my dad, my husband, my father-in-law, the men who are like second dad’s to me and most of all, the Greatest Dad ever – who has left the perfect example of what a real Father is – Father God.
We at Suede Sofa wish you a wonderful Father’s Day!!
:) Robynn~

http://www.sherwoodbaptist.net/templates/cussherwoodbc/details.asp?id=33770&PID=874712

A Tradition of Giving

This past weekend my son went to a 5th birthday party for his friend, but instead of bringing a present for the Birthday Boy, he brought a bathing suit that will be donated along with a sackful of others to children who until now didn’t own a bathing suit of their own.  My friend Bridget started a tradition in her family where her boys choose a charity to collect items for in lieu of gifts at their birthday parties.  I was so ImPrEsSeD with the uniqueness of this idea that I had to share it with all of you!  I hope it will touch your HeArTs as it has mine and that maybe you will start a similar tradition with your children as I plan to do with my kids in the future!

Cael with all of the bathing suits he is donating to the children who attend Camp Hope NJ!
RoByN: What first gave you the idea to collect something for charity in lieu of gifts at your kid’s birthday parties?
BrIdGeT: The idea really came just because they have so many toys and what more could they possibly get??? We like to have big parties, but I (selfishly) couldn’t stand the thought of another 20+ toys in the house.
RoByN: Did your boys give you a hard time at first?
BrIdGeT: They never had a problem with it (surprisingly). They are given a choice of a big party with donations or a special birthday experience with 2 friends.  They always choose the party.  We then take some time to find a charity that they are excited about donating to.  Of course, they still get presents from us and our families.
RoByN: How did you hear about Kids4Kids Project Camp Hope, the camp that your son chose to collect swim suits for at his recent birthday party?
BrIdGeT: We heard about Kids4Kids Camp Hope through my older son’s school.  They were collecting suits this spring for the camp and it seemed to be a great fit for a summer birthday.
RoByN: What other charities have you donated to in the past for others who are looking for ideas to get started?
BrIdGeT: We have donated to The Pajama Program, Toys for Tots, and  I also looked into toy donations for The Valerie Fund.
RoByN: What do you hope the children attending the parties will learn from bringing something for someone in need?
BrIdGeT:  My kids have learned that it actually makes them pretty happy to help other people.  It’s the reminder they need once in a while to show them how fortunate they truly are.  There are so many great charities that the kids can relate to so that they are excited when the donations come in.  Cael was so happy yesterday to see that someone donated an Angry Birds bathing suit!  So I’m hoping other kids will learn that giving to others can also make them pretty happy too!
~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

{100 Zillion}

So, a couple of days ago I told my girls to go upstairs and clean their room and play-area while I cleaned the downstairs.  Although we frequently talk about working with DiLiGeNt hands, this day left much to be desired.

As we were cleaning, my 6-year old came down to the landing and as she talked to me {NiNe} steps below where she stood, she had the audacity to tell me that she does way more work than I do and I don’t work at all!!

Yes, I should have told her I would address that comment in a few minutes after I had let off about 80,000 psi of steam!!  But I didn’t.  I marched up those {nine} steps and dealt with that sassy, disrespectful, little attitude right there on the spot.  I’m sure my eyes were bugging out and my head bobbing side to side as I informed her that I did “100 ZiLLiOn” more things than she ever did.  (Yes, I really did say that before I could even think about what was coming out of my mouth.)

After I finished my ranting and she apologized we both went back to work.  As I vacuumed I was still fuming when God spoke, “So……, you do 100 zillion more things than she does?  Probably not.  However, this is a CoNvErSaTiOn we could have because I really do 100 zillion more things than you do.”

Oh, GrEaT.  Now I have two people to apologize to.

The point of this post?  Well, it could be not to deal with people or make rash decisions when you are angry – a total and complete recipe for disaster.

Or, it could be that God does way more than I could ever even imagine.  In those moments when I think He is doing nothing or at least not what I think He should be doing I forget that He is the One who painted the sky with white puffy clouds, causes the BuTtErFly to flutter in the warm air, lights up lightning bugs in the summer night, and gives my heart another beat, along with countless other deeds.

Psalm 139:17-18 says:

“How PrEciOuS are your thoughts towards me, O God.  How vast is the sum of them.  Were I to count them they would outnumber the grains of sand.”

After this experience I think I now have a little bit clearer picture of that number.  Somewhere cLoSeR to 100 zillion.

:)

Robynn~

Tough Issues–Cowards Vs. Heroes

Taken from Successful Farmer magazine: 

“The very human desire to run away from confrontation is so natural and common that we have to wonder how so many farm partnerships [or relationships in general] manage to survive and succeed in spite of it.

When trying to gather the courage to face a tough issue, it’s worth remembering that cowards die a thousand deaths, while heroes die but once. We know from experience that avoiding a battle doesn’t end a war – it just makes it that much tougher to fight, let alone win.

Fear can paralyze. It can keep a soldier from fighting for survival. It also can prevent people who love each other from coNfRoNting dangerous issues and solving them while that’s still possible. Armies learned centuries ago that even though fear can’t be eliminated, training and experience can instill habits that sidestep paralysis and enable action.

It can be the same in families. The straightforward commitment to face and rEsoLve day-to-day disagreements and misunderstanding, particularly the smaller, easier ones, develops the habit of reacting appropriately to issues as they arise.

It’s not so complicated. Sweat the small stuff first, day after day. It won’t make the big stuff any smaller, but it will make it that much easier to muster the courage for the scary face-to-face discussions that are so critical.”

I can relate to this article, can’t you? If I have a conflict with a friend, family member or coworker, it is much easier if I can work through the problem as soon as it comes up.  It is never easy, but it is worth it. Suppressing issues that arise only turn small problems into big ones. Do yourself a favor and Be a HeRo by resolving disagreements as they come.

~Lara

Photo Perfection

Sometimes I think if I tell my kids to “SaY ChEeSe” one more time they might just throw something at me!  This weekend my daughter and niece had their very first dance recital.  It was a big day for all of us and I am not sure who was more excited, the girls or me and my sister!  The audience was packed with friends and family who came to watch our little ones dance to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo and of course we were armed with our cameras to document each adorable step they took.

After the recital we gathered outside to take some group pictures with our family and friends and after a while the kids were just SpEnT.  We realized we didn’t get a picture of the girls with my son who had been such a trooper all week as we dragged him to dance pictures, dress rehearsal, and now the recital.  Since their cooperation was at an all time low we decided to let the kids do a SiLlY pose and told them to make a funny face.  The girls immediately stuck their tongues out and I shot this incredible picture!  It is something my family will cherish for years to come.  Not to mention…any of you who follow my posts know that Nicholas can use a little teasing from Abby and his cousin now and then for all of his antics!

When trying to capture the PeRfEcT MoMeNt this summer, remember planned photos aren’t always the most memorable!  Have fun and let your kids be silly too!

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)

{Liars, Deceivers, & Manipulators}

“Yah, you know who you are.  You constantly BaDgEr us with your lies, deceive us to believe things that are not true about ourselves and others, and manipulate us to do absolutely stupid and crazy things that no SaNe person would ever do.  You’re relentless, fickle, exasperating, and oh so annoying.  One day CoLd, the next day HoT.  Did I also mention two-faced?  You say one thing and then the next day just the opposite.  You’re a drama queen and you can not be trusted!”

Liars, Deceivers, and Manipulators.  a.k.a. FEELINGS.  Don’t get me wrong, they are not all bad.  In fact some of them are pretty awesome.  They make life sweet and I LOVE SWEET.  But they can also make life miserable.  Feelings are horrible rulers.  Putting them in charge is a recipe for disaster, yet, so often that is exactly what we do – let them dictate how we live.  It’s like letting them drive the car.  I promise you, they will eventually take you in the ditch every time!

If feelings are driving your car tell them to get in the backseat.  It’s time to take the wheel and DrIvE!

:)

Robynn

PAUSE

My husband and I have had a lot of changes in our life recently.  Without thinking about it I have felt the need to want to RuSh through the unpleasant times and fAst foRwaRd to the days that I dream about everything being perfect (clean house, perfectly behaved kids, more free time, etc).  How many posts have I written about life not being perfect???  You would think I’d have it down by now :)

Is there something going on in your life that is making you want to hurry through? 

If you step back and evaluate, what are the good parts of the unpleasant moments that you are missing out on simply because you are in a rush to fast forward through this time?

These questions iMpaCt me every time I read them because I am a person that tends to rush through everything.  I want to get to a place where my kids don’t destroy everything in my house.  I want to speed through dropping those “last few pounds” so I can finally fit into that dress I bought.  I want to erase an awkward moment with a friend and skip ahead to a time that I didn’t feel so uncomfortable.

But you know what I have to give up to finally reach that perfect TiMe?  Hearing my kids say adorable words and run to me for constant hugs and kisses….enjoying eating a surprise meal that my husband made for me and saying “YES” to unplanned trips to Dairy Queen with the kids…and special moments with a dear friend that I would never experience because I skipped ahead.

If you are stressed, miserable, sad, whatever it is….PAUSE for a minute.  What good things are you missing out on because you are rushing through this difficult time?  It is only natural to start feeling guilty at this point but STOP, don’t do that!  START now and focus on the special moments TODAY that you will never get back.  Even though there are some things you don’t enjoy right now, force yourself to focus on the good.  Not only will it help alleviate discomfort but you will cherish special moments that you would have otherwise missed.

~Lara

Teachable Moment

This past weekend I spent the unofficial beginning of summer at the Jersey Shore with my family at my parent’s beach house.  Each morning my son rode his bike while my daughter pushed her baby doll in a stroller next to him as I pushed our beach cart full of “NeCeSsItiEs” up the block and a half to the beach.  I couldn’t help thinking how much easier this seemed compared to the past few summers when I had to manage the beach cart and the kids in a wagon behind me.  The morning of Memorial Day as my son and I were making our way up to the beach I hit a bump with the beach cart and the cart and all of its contents landed on the street.  Four chairs, my beach bag, and enough sand toys for a small army scattered all over the street.  My first instinct was to get my son Nicholas to stop riding his bike so that he would be safe while I picked everything back up, and then I began to collect all of our beach gear.  As Nicholas and I started picking up the sand toys I noticed two young boys who were about high school age had watched the entire incident and just LooKeD at me and kept on walking.  I stopped what I was doing and pointed them out to my son.  I explained to him that someday he is going to be a “big boy” like they were and that he might see a Mommy who is having trouble like I was.  I told him that I hoped that when he grows up he would…  At that point Nicholas stopped me and finished the thought for me.  He looked at me and said, “Mommy, I would help the Mommy pick everything up.”

Nicholas Memorial Day 2012

There are so many times as parents we get caught up in the busyness of the day-to-day routine that we forget to look for the moments that may have an ImPaCt on our children’s futures.  I thought this teachable moment was going to show Nicholas what to do when he gets older, but what it also did was remind me that although I am SO hard on myself, I must be doing something right for my son to already know a lesson that those boys may have missed somewhere along the way.

~Robyn (Jersey Girl)