➡️ Separate the issues. See the whole picture. ⬅️
I once came across a quote that said, “We’re a mass of contradictions.”
And maybe that’s true. But lately, I’ve been wondering if this popular phrase might be more accurate:
“Two things can be true at the same time.”
I’m realizing that sometimes what looks like a contradiction isn’t a contradiction at all. It’s simply two different realities existing side by side.
We are beautifully complex people living in a world that is both beautiful and broken.
And yet, we often collapse categories—we lump different realities together as though they must all mean the same thing.
In everyday language, we lump it all together. 🤔
We want to label the whole thing good or bad. Right or wrong. This or that. But sometimes those labels don’t capture the whole picture.
I’d been turning this principle over in my mind, trying to find a visual that would bring it into focus.
Then yesterday, while talking with my daughter, my eyes landed on this colorful organizer, and I immediately thought:
💡 That’s it. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to picture.
Each compartment holds something different. They’re all part of the same container, but what’s in one compartment doesn’t cancel what’s in another.
And that’s the point. What looks like a contradiction may simply be different realities existing side by side.
And let’s be clear: Recognizing complexity doesn’t mean truth is relative, that right and wrong don’t exist, or that every perspective is equally accurate.
Complexity doesn’t cancel truth. It calls for careful discernment.
We’re separating the compartments to better understand what’s actually true—not to explain truth away.
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🔹 EXAMPLE 1: OUR INTERNAL WORLD
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At any given moment, you might be experiencing:
→ Gratitude for the good in your life—and grief over what has or hasn’t happened.
→ Contentment with your present life—and longing for something more.
→ Joy in your relationships—and disappointment in certain relationships.
→ Confidence in God’s faithfulness—and questions about His timing and His ways.
Sometimes we think we must resolve one feeling before we’re allowed to experience another.
But we don’t.
You don’t have to empty one compartment to make room for what’s in another.
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🔹 EXAMPLE 2: RELATIONSHIPS
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Imagine someone you love says something hurtful.
We can be quick to collapse everything into one conclusion:
They hurt me.
They’re inconsiderate.
They don’t care about me.
But let’s separate the compartments:
→ What they said may genuinely have been hurtful.
→ They may not have intended to hurt you.
→ They may have a legitimate concern, even if they expressed it poorly.
→ You may still need to address what happened.
→ You can recognize their good qualities without excusing their behavior.
Separating the issues allows us to respond to what actually happened without making sweeping conclusions about the person.
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🔹 EXAMPLE 3: SEASONS OF LIFE
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Have you ever looked back on a season of your life and wondered, Was that a good season or a bad one? Was it difficult or beautiful?
We often want to give an entire season one label.
But let’s separate the compartments:
→ It may have been incredibly painful.
→ You may have experienced some beautiful moments.
→ You may have experienced tremendous personal growth.
→ Some relationships may have ended.
→ Other relationships may have deepened.
→ You may have experienced significant losses.
→ You may have discovered blessings you wouldn’t trade.
It doesn’t have to be either difficult or beautiful. It may have been both.
We don’t have to minimize the pain to appreciate the good. And we don’t have to dismiss the good to acknowledge the pain.
One reality doesn’t cancel the other.
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🔹 THE PRACTICE: SEPARATE THE COMPARTMENTS
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When something feels confusing, contradictory, or emotionally tangled, try these three steps:
1️⃣ SEPARATE: What are the different realities here?
Instead of lumping everything together, identify the different facts, feelings, perspectives, and issues.
2️⃣ EXAMINE: What do I know is true, and what am I assuming?
Not everything we think or feel is necessarily an accurate interpretation of reality.
For example, feeling rejected is a real experience. But concluding that someone intentionally rejected you is an interpretation that may need examination.
3️⃣ PRIORITIZE: What’s the main issue that needs my attention?
Recognize the other realities without losing sight of what matters most.
Once you’ve separated the issues, consider their weight. They don’t all carry equal significance. What is the main issue, and what needs your attention first?
- Weight: How serious or significant is each issue?
- Priority: Which issue needs your attention first?
The most serious issue may also be the first priority, but sometimes an immediate decision needs attention before a larger concern can be fully addressed.
Just because something is part of the picture doesn’t mean it deserves equal attention. We can acknowledge all the different realities while keeping the main issue in focus.
And of course, some situations are more complex than others. Not every situation requires 40 compartments. Sometimes there are two. Sometimes there are ten.
The goal is to recognize what’s actually part of the picture instead of collapsing everything into one oversimplified conclusion.
Perhaps maturity involves learning to recognize, hold, and steward multiple realities without forcing them into one simplistic conclusion.
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🔹 WHERE CAN YOU USE THIS FRAMEWORK?
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Just about anywhere you’re tempted to reduce something complex to one simple conclusion.
→ Relationships: Separating someone’s behavior from their character or intentions.
→ Decision-making: Recognizing both the benefits and costs of an opportunity.
→ Workplace: Recognizing someone’s strengths while acknowledging areas where their performance needs improvement.
→ Emotions: Allowing gratitude and grief, joy and sadness, or confidence and uncertainty to coexist.
→ Conflict: Looking at each person’s words and actions separately to understand what each needs to take responsibility for.
→ Personal growth: Recognizing progress while acknowledging areas that still need attention.
→ Faith: Holding confidence in God’s character alongside unanswered questions.
→ Life experiences: Recognizing both the beauty and the difficulty of a particular season.
Different compartments. Same life. One reality doesn’t cancel another.
Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is stop trying to make everything fit into one compartment—and step back to see the whole picture more clearly. 🎨
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